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God, if Julie only knew.
“Look, it’s a long story that I’m still trying to piece together. I promise I will try to explain everything when I get back.” Kevin smiled fondly at Percy. “Besides, he’s way more fun than he lets on.”
“It’s not the fun part that worries me.” Julie’s frown deepened. “Driving across the country with a man you barely know is.”
“Trust that dear Kevin is in very safe and very capable hands,” Percy promised. “I will take good care of him, you have my word.”
“Good.” Julie smiled sweetly. “Because James isn’t the only one who knows how to hide a body.”
The phone rang, drawing Julie away to answer it.
James frowned at Percy. “You look like a pirate.”
There was no way to tell if that was meant to be a compliment or not, and James slinked away without clarifying.
“A pirate, huh? I must admit, I do love plundering some fine booty.” Percy palmed Kevin’s ass.
“Hey! Percy the Pirate! That is inappropriate! This is a family place!” Kevin’s cock twitched, and he playfully swatted him away.
“What? I’m just admiring the view.” Percy smiled innocently. “Are you going to put an order in so we can get going, peaches? It’s probably best we don’t dawdle.”
“Oh yeah. Hey, James!” Kevin waited until James peeked back out. “Can you whip us up a Cheesus Crust for the road? Maybe some Mentally Irregular Bread? Pretty please?”
Before James could reply, Steve walked in with the distinct odor of marijuana following right behind him.
“Ah, Steve.” Percy waved. “My favorite little ganjapreneur.”
James scowled.
“James,” Kevin warned gently. “Play nice. For Julie’s sake.”
“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” James muttered. “Cheesus Crust, Mentally Irregular Bread with an extra large stupid Steve…”
Kevin sighed, turning to greet Steve with a friendly smile. “Steve! What’s up, man?”
Steve didn’t seem to notice James’s ire, though he looked shocked to see Kevin. “Whoa! Kevin! Dude!” He stared at Percy. “And… that guy!”
“Percival Pearl,” Percy drawled. “I answered the door naked and we discussed the mysteries of infrastructure. Ringing any bells? Or have the little people in charge of your brain all left for the day?”
Kevin nudged Percy in the ribs, coughing into his arm to stifle a laugh. “Don’t be an asshole.”
“Oh yeah. Of course, man.” Steve grinned at Percy. “How could I forget?”
If Shaggy from Scooby-Doo was real, he would be Steve, and his poor, blank stare made it hard to be sure if Steve actually remembered or not.
Percy batted his eyes at Kevin, asking, “So, do you want to ask him when you two met? Or are you afraid he won’t remember the make and model of the spaceship?”
“Am I an angel or an alien?” Kevin asked sarcastically, though he did have reservations about how helpful Steve would be.
“You’re probably an alien.” Steve frowned. “Wait, what do you wanna ask me?”
“How long have we been friends? Do you remember when we met?”
Steve looked uncharacteristically serious, and he put his hand on Kevin’s shoulder. “It was a Tuesday. It was warm outside. But there was rain. So, like, not too warm, but a nice, comfortable sort of warm. Like your balls won’t get stuck to your thigh, you know? But I do remember. I was here. You were there.” He pointed at the door. “You arrived in a blaze of dust and light, and Alfred was, like, carrying you into the kitchen with every color of the rainbow. You were glowing, dude. You’re totally not of this earth, but you know, now that I think about it, I’ve seen aliens, man. So, you’re probably not really an alien. Even if you are, I still love you, dude.”
Kevin sighed and dragged his hands through his hair. As crazy as it sounded, that was a lot of detail and a few kernels of truth might be hiding in there somewhere. He looked at Percy to gauge his reaction.
Percy held his index finger and thumb together to mimic holding a joint and rolled his eyes.
