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“I’ve done all I can, but Sebastian is an extremely persistent son of a bitch. He’s a half-demon who decided to turn his back on Hell and make it his life’s mission to hunt every demon on earth, including a particular passion for seeking out those who have left Hell’s service. We’re easier targets, you see, because we’re usually alone.”
“I don’t know this Sebastian guy, but I do know one thing. You’re not alone.” Kevin reached for Percy’s hand and squeezed it firmly. “I may not have my angel superpowers, but I can take care of myself. I’m not gonna let a fucking thing happen to you.”
Percy looked surprised, and the lines of his face softened.
In the morning light, he was practically glowing. He looked years younger and like he could have been an angel too.
Percy was quiet for a long moment, and then he squeezed Kevin’s hand back, saying quietly, “Thank you.”
Kevin smiled. Maybe it was silly wanting to protect the powerful demon who could probably crush him with a snap of his fingers, but the urge remained nonetheless. He cleared his throat, looking down at what remained of his pancakes. “You sure you don’t want some before we hit the road?”
“I’m fine, really. Thank you.” Percy slid out of bed, pausing to smooch Kevin’s cheek. He was dressed instantly, wearing a tight black v-neck T-shirt and black jeans, still sipping his coffee. “Are the warm angel fuzzies speaking to you yet?”
“Oh yeah! I had a dream!” Kevin sat up straighter, bouncing excitedly. “I saw the beach again! It was really pretty. Dark. Just the moonlight. I could smell the salt and everything. It’s definitely that way.” He pointed confidently at the far wall.
“West again, eh? Should we actually consult a map or do you know which way that is?” Percy smirked. “Because yesterday we almost drove to Michigan. I don’t say that as a critique of your navigation skills or lack thereof, merely an observation.”
Kevin scowled, reaching out to smack Percy’s hip.
“Watch the goods, peaches!” Percy swatted him back.
“Look, I remembered something at the bar. There has to be a reason the warm fuzzies took us there.”
“But we still need to go west? I’m assuming the coast. Hopefully you’re actually dreaming of the beach and not a sandbox.”
“Yes, it was the damn ocean. I saw it. I was standing in it. The water, the waves.” Kevin snorted. “I wish I could narrow it down though.”
“The signal, so to speak, should become stronger the closer we get.” Percy slurped more coffee. “In theory.”
“Okay. And there’s nothing else we should be doing to keep Sebastian Fuckface from finding us?” Kevin got up to start packing up his duffle bag. “Nothing at all?”
“Not that I can think of.” Percy sighed. “I’ve cast every spell I know, and the best thing we can do is keep moving and stay out of his range. Divination rituals can take days to get a result, so it’s in our best interest to get as far away as possible. With any luck, they’re still back at that bar, scratching their asses and trying to figure out where we went.”
“All right. So, we just keep driving then. Stop for gas, sleep some, find the World’s Biggest Ball of Twine. That sounds good to me—”
“The biggest what now?”
“The World’s Biggest Ball of Twine! It’s totally a thing.”
“Sure, peaches.”
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see. You just wait.” Kevin pulled out a T-shirt from his bag to put on.
It was aStar Warsshirt with Luke Skywalker in a flight suit at its center with the wordsJoin The Allianceemblazoned across it. The colors were faded and it had a few holes worn into the soft fabric. It was one of Kevin’s favorite shirts, a gift from Uncle Al.
Maybe.
Percy was staring at the shirt with a strange look on his face.
“What?” Kevin asked.
“Did you not ever find it suspicious that you have the same last name as the man on your shirt?”
“Are you high?” Kevin scoffed at the question, looking down and pulling the shirt away from his body to confirm what he was wearing. “This is Luke fucking Skywalker! Maybe you’ve heard of him? Kinda badass, kinda annoying. Definitely wanted to bang his sister. Luckily, she had far better taste in men.”
“Yes, yes, and who was played by the actor, Mark Hamill! Who also did the voice of the Joker on that little Batman cartoon.” Percy gasped. “And Batman was voiced by Kevin Conroy! Even your damn name is part of your deranged Batman fantasy!”
Kevin’s face fell, and his heart sank down to the very bottom of his stomach. He thought he was going to throw up.
