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“No one likes a quitter, sug.” The man offered the money out again. “Now here. Take it. It’s very rude to refuse suchbulginggenerosity.”
“Okay, fine.” Kevin decided it was only fair for putting up with so much nudity and weirdness, and he took the money this time. He shoved it into his back pocket, glancing at the blood on the man’s face. “You have a little something on your face. By the way.”
“Oh? Do I?” The man reached up to touch the wrong cheek.
“No, the other side. You know, don’t even worry about it.” Kevin wasn’t even going to ask for the bags back. They were a lost cause now because he definitely needed to escape as fast as possible. “Your friends don’t seem to mind.”
The man continued to paw at his face everywhere except where the blood actually was. He huffed as if greatly bothered, asking, “Where exactly is it? Just show me.”
“Here, just…” Kevin leaned in, using his sleeve to wipe the blood off the man’s cheek. He really hoped this was from some really kinky sex and wasn’t evidence from some sort of crazy ritualistic murder. “Maybe clean up from your orgy before you order next time, huh?”
“Have you ever been in an orgy?”
“No.” Kevin squirmed, aiming for levity as he teased, “You know, I’ve really been trying to cut back on my orgies and my kinky pizza parties.”
“Well, let me tell you that you work up quite the hunger, and it’s very easy to lose track of whose fluids are going where.”
“Right, well, just thinking out loud here, what about putting on some pants?”
The man winked. “Why would I want to cover up and potentially miss that gorgeously gobsmacked look on your face?”
Kevin actually laughed. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Make sure you put that in your Yelp review.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve already got it all planned out, sug.Able-bodied virile specimen of peak manhood handled my hot steaming meat respectfully and in a very timely manner.” The man glanced over Kevin ravenously. “Can’t wait to try his deep dish.”
Kevin laughed again.
Okay, yes, the man was definitely coming on like a dog in heat, but he was pretty funny too.
“Wow. Well.” Kevin shook his head. “On that note, I am going to go. This is me leaving now.”
“You have yourself a lovely night, sug.”
“I’m sure it won’t be as lovely or as interesting as yours.” Kevin backed up toward his truck. “Don’t forget to fill out the survey at the bottom of the receipt for a free orgy. Pizza! Shit, I meant freepizza!”
“Are you very sure it can’t be both? Because both sounds delicious.”
“Going. Bye now.” Kevin jumped into his truck and turned the key as fast as he could. He hit the gas hard enough to squeal tires as he sped down the driveway, glancing up into the rearview mirror to see if the naked stranger was still watching him.
This was, by far, the absolute weirdest delivery of his entire life.
No, this was the weirdest night period.
He had no idea what the man and his friends had been up to—were blood orgies even really a thing? Did people actually do that? He wondered if he should report it to the police, but he realized he didn’t even know what he’d say and they’d probably think he was nuts. Plus, the man would know exactly who had ratted him out.
Kevin tried to focus on happier things, like how he had one hell of a wild story to share with Julie and James. Steve too, if Steve ever remembered where he was supposed to be working tonight. He was surprised to find himself smiling as he replayed the bizarre conversation with the man again in his head.
He hadn’t even gotten the man’s name.
Maybe he’d look it up when he got back—no, he didn’t need to do that.
Thinking about that crazy man was the last damn thing he needed, and he did not need a name to go with all of that gorgeous naked flesh that had been so boldly on display. Although it was easy to let his thoughts drift to what the man would look like with his legs behind his head, Kevin tried to forget about the whole ordeal.
After all, he figured he wouldn’t see the man again.
Not unless he ordered more pizza.
CHAPTERTWO
