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“I believe she would be very pleased.” Prince picked up one of the bones. “This looks lovely!”
“I can’t promise it’ll be as good as what Grandma Maggie did, but I hope you like it.” Neil took a small sip of scotch.
Prince cracked open the bone like it was made of paper and then he eagerly lapped at the marrow with a long, orange tongue. “Mmm… It’s delicious!”
Neil stared, finding the display enticing in spite of the odd color. He drank more scotch. “Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”
“Maggie would be very proud.”
“Thanks.” Neil thought for a moment, and a lightbulb came on. “You’re the one she was leaving bones in the garden for.”
“Pardon?”
“There was a note on the fridge about leaving bones in the garden.” Neil chuckled. “I don’t know who I thought it was for. Maybe a fox or something.”
“My gourd!” Prince laughed. “Foxy actually likes the blueberries and the tomatoes. We’ve come to an agreement that if she keeps the rabbits out, she gets treats from the garden. Maggie had a lovely photo of her in the pumpkin patch.”
“O-oh, of course.” Neil didn’t even question that Prince had a verbal agreement with a fox. The idea of Prince being able to communicate with animals was no more insane than the talking scarecrow he’d just cooked a steak for. “Where, uh, exactly did Maggie find you? She and I talked pretty much every day, but she never… mentioned you.”
“Maggie was having trouble with the fudging crows.” Prince paused to finish off the bone and then he grabbed his knife and fork to cut into the steak. “They wouldn’t stay out of her garden.”
“The fudging crows.” Neil laughed. “She couldn’t stand them getting into the vegetables. She used to say she was going to make a hat out of them.”
“I made her a hat band out of feathers for her eighty-ninth birthday.” Prince smiled, his strange leer looking less and less terrifying.
“Eighty-ninth…” Neil tried to do the math.
“I’ve been here for four years,” Prince said. “Grandpa Harvey went to a feed store in town to buy a scarecrow. He met a woman named Matsuri who gave him some seeds and told him to plant them where he built the scarecrow. Something about a plant the crows would hate.” He paused to eat a piece of steak and let out another groan that was way too hot to be about food. “After they put me together and planted the seeds, I was walking around the next morning. Not very well from what Maggie told me, but I was scaring away the crows!”
“Holy shit.” Neil drew in a sharp breath. “So. Wow. She made you. That… that’s incredible.” Prince moaned again over his next bite of steak and Neil’s brain shut down for a moment. “I… I mean you are incredible. All of this is. But you, wow… there aren’t words for this. I’m really glad you’re here.”
“I am too.” Prince’s smile was sad. “I have had many wonderful years on this farm. I was very sad when Harvey passed. I tried very hard to keep Maggie from being too lonely. I know that it wasn’t the same. He probably liked her with his penis.”
Neil burst out laughing and he slapped his hand over his mouth. He didn’t want to embarrass Prince, and he managed to stammer, “I, I’m sure he did. Very much. They were married, heh. I don’t think it’s a requirement, but it’s definitely a perk.”
“What’s funny? Is it something I said?” Prince took Neil’s hand, frowning in concern. “Are you all right?”
“No, no, I’m fine. I’ve just had a few, and…” Neil swayed a little, his head light now from laughing so hard and losing track of how much scotch he’d had. “I... I should probably go to bed.”
“Of course! You must be exhausted. I will be out of your way faster than you can say zucchini.”
Neil snorted out another laugh. “I’m sorry. So sorry. I’m just a little drunk, you were very heavy, and…” He paused, lost in Prince’s dark eyes. “I…
Prince seemed confused by Neil’s laughter, but he was smiling. He petted Neil’s hair with his spindly fingers. “I cannot thank you enough for saving me.”
“Hey, it’s no big deal. I’m just so glad I found you.” Neil leaned into Prince’s touch, and his pulse sped up. “I haven’t been this happy in a really long time.”
“Me either. I do not believe I’ve ever smiled so much. Which is quite impressive when you think about it since I was ripped in half earlier.”
“I’m really glad you’re feeling better now.” Neil didn’t know when they’d gotten so close, but he was practically in Prince’s plate now and he couldn’t look away from his lips. “And now that you’re back together… I…”
Prince slid his plate to the floor so he could curl his arm around Neil’s waist. “Now that I’m together what?”
“You’re so… very much…” Neil hiccuped. “Well, I think my penis would like you.”
“That’s very nice.”
“Right? I…” Neil’s head dropped on Prince’s chest and he passed right out.
