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“Well, it works for fucking Santa Claus!”
“You… you know Santa ain’t real, right?”
“What?” Karl gasped dramatically. “Is my entire life a life? Next you’re gonna tell me my boobs aren’t real either and thatGames of Thronesisn’t a documentary!”
“Fuckin’ dumbass,” Cephus muttered, his claws clinking against the glass of the whiskey bottle as he poured himself another drink.
Karl’s eyes lingered on the bones of Cephus’s hand, and he shivered as he couldn’t help but wonder what those claws would feel like on his skin.
Shit.
Focus!
Cephus had refilled Karl’s glass too, and he offered it out to him.
Karl snatched the glass with a scowl. “Fuck you and that dumbass shit, how the hell would I know? My grandma didn’t say anything about Death’s Thanksgiving family reunion with Auntie Death and Uncle Death and little Baby Death or how—”
“Baby Death? I’m over a hundred fuckin’ years old! I ain’t—”
“—Baby Death somehow has a totally perfect ass for a skeleton.”
“Okay.” Cephus turned his head as if blushing. “That’s real nice of you to say about my ass and all, but seriously, I ain’t no damn baby.”
Karl grinned. “Sure sound a lot like a little whiny baby.”
“Hey, fuck you!” Cephus barked. “At least I don’t believe in fuckin’ Santa Claus and shit! Who’s the fuckin’ baby now?”
“Fuck you! It was a joke, man! Sorry I’m having a bit of trouble being rational about the hot dude I brought home turning into a skeleton creature thing on my damn couch! And yes, I am finding it hard to believe that ass is a hundred years old!” Karl grabbed the closest pillow so he could smack Cephus with it.
Cephus grunted and stared down at the pillow.
Right. Maybe not such a good idea to hit Death, pillow or not.
Cephus stood, grumbling as he reached for his pants. “Well, don’t you worry. You can get a nice long look on my fuckin’ way out.”
“Wait, that’s it? You’re just leaving?” Karl put himself in front of Cephus. “Is this what you do for fun? Just go around getting guys horny and then dropping this bombshell and peacing out?”
“What?” Cephus glared at Karl, his eyes blazing, and he rose to his full height—which was still a few inches shy of Karl’s, even with the horns. “Oh, fuck to the no. You stay right there while I fuck up every part of that there statement. First of all, fuck you, I don’t do shit for fun. I work all the fuckin’ time until my damn eyes hurt ’cause fuckin’ humans dyin’ of old age ain’t enough! You assholes keep thinkin’ up new sick ass ways to off each other, so trust that I stay real busy! This was some kind of crazy accident, okay? All the slut stars aligned so I could finally get some dick, but no!
“Which brings me to item number two! I didn’t drop no bombshell! It ain’t my fault you can see me! That’s on you!” Cephus jabbed Karl’s chest. “And third of all, you damn right I’m gonna leave! I ain’t gotta sit here and get interrogated like you’re some kinda goddamn police. I was only fuckin’ over here ’cause… ’cause…” His rage wilted, and the flames in his eyes died down to a faint glow. “Ilikedyou. You were brave, you were fuckin’ hot… and I’m just gonna get now. I just wanna go.”
Karl was angry, then he was afraid, maybe a little turned on, but it all faded when he saw the sorrow in Cephus’s eyes. Those brilliant blues were the same ones that had his attention from the start, and his heart fluttered and then sank down into the pit of his stomach as Cephus tried to push by him.
Yes, he’d been terrified when Cephus first revealed himself, but he really didn’t want him to leave. It was ridiculous. He shouldn’t feel like a dick because Death himself—or one of them anyway—had appeared on his couch and scared the crap out of him.
“Wait!” Karl grabbed Cephus’s skeletal wrist.
Cephus’s claws flexed, but he didn’t pull away. He looked defeated, and the fire in his eyes was almost out. “I get it. I’m a monster. I just wanna fuckin’ go.”
“Wait, please?” Karl pleaded. “Just one more drink.” He slid his hand down to grab Cephus’s. “Look, I’m sorry. I brought you here because I liked you too. Truth is you weren’t the monster out there tonight. I don’t think you’re a monster at all. I mean, I’ve been seeing you all of my life.”
“Cousins,” Cephus corrected dryly. “You probably seen my cousins. Got a whole bunch, remember?”
“Cousins, right.”
“What are you sayin’?” Cephus glanced at their joined hands, and his eyes lit back up into bright flames. “You want me… to stay?”
“Yeah, I want you to stay. All right? Can we… Can we try this again?”
