AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The weight of it pulls on me until my knees give out, and I fall in a heap on the shower floor. Tears pour from my eyes, mixing with the scalding water until I can’t tell which is which anymore. I’m so damn tired of holding it all in, of carrying it around with me everywhere I go, never able to get a lungful of air. Faking smiles and laughs so no one looks too closely while on the inside I’m falling apart. I hate that I hide it all so well that no one knows, but all I want is for someone to notice, but at the same time, if anyone did notice, I would tell them I’m fine because I don’t want to be a burden.
Forcing my body to move, I reach for the body wash but freeze when a find a black silicone butt plug and lube sitting on the shelf. For a second, my mind goes blank. Almost like I can’t process what I’m seeing.
Lust flares in my body, despite the inner turmoil, and I’m so desperate to feel something else I grab onto it with both hands. The image of Paul using it, stretching his hole and coming, has my own dick throbbing. Will he let me lose myself in him? Just for a minute?
The last thing I should do is touch him. I know that. I’m going to give him whiplash with this back-and-forth bullshit, but I fucking need him. It makes me weak to need him as badly as I do. It’s definitely not fair to him. I get him, but what does he get? A fucked-up friend who uses him.
I dry off quickly, take the plug and lube, and leave the bathroom naked and on a mission.
Paul’s head snaps toward me and eyes widen when he sees me, his gaze drags over my body and snags on the plug in my hand. His cheeks turn pink, and his throat bobs as he swallows.
I lift the toy before I speak. “Something you wanna talk about?”
“Not really,” he says, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “Come here.”
Goose bumps break out all over my body at his tone, and I move without thinking.
Please take me out of my head. I need you.
I stand between his knees and let out a calming breath, tossing the supplies on the bed.
“What do you need, Brendon?” Paul puts his hands on his knees, leaning forward to barely brush his nose up my stomach. I shiver, a little gasp escaping my mouth, and my head drops back.
“I need to come.” The words fall from my lips with no thought. “I need to fuck.”
Paul cups the back of my thighs, pulling me closer to him so he can leave open-mouthed kisses on my skin while ignoring my cock bobbing between us.
“We’re going to talk about this after, got it?” His voice leaves no room for misunderstanding or argument.
“Fine, just make me stop thinking first.” My words are a needy whimper. Reaching for him, I cup the back of his head and slam my mouth against his, then lean a knee on the bed. I can’t have nice and slow. It gives me too much time to think. I need to get lost in him.
Paul runs his hands across my ass, kneading the muscles, and lightly scratching my skin as my hips settle between his spread thighs.
He pulls back enough for our eyes to lock. “I want you to fuck me.”
Nothing in this moment matters but him. There’s no world outside of this bed.
Shifting back on the mattress, he lays back against the pillows, and I pull his pants and underwear off, dropping them somewhere on the floor. He’s hard, thick, and veined.
And I want a taste.
Dragging my hands up his thighs with my eyes locked on his, I lick up the underside of his dick. Paul grabs a handful of my hair and pulls my mouth back to his as his nostrils flare and his pupils blow wide with arousal.
“Flip,” he commands, and my body moves to lay down without thought, taking his spot on the pillows.
His scent surrounds me, comforting and sexy. He’s taken on that commanding presence that I can’t take my eyes off of. I’ve never been drawn to dominant guys before, but it’s different with Paul. I’m safe with him.
He straddles my hips and leans over me.
“Prep my hole,” he demands against my mouth, and I pat around the bed for the bottle of lube. Once I find it, I get my fingers slick, reach between us, and slide my fingers between his cheeks. Paul whimpers into our kiss when I find the puckered flesh and swirl my fingertip around it.
God damn, that’s sexy as fuck. I throb, my hips arching up to find friction.
I press one finger in, and he’s surprisingly relaxed.
“How long has it been since you used the plug?” I pant, watching his face as I thrust my fingers in and out of his body.
“Few hours.” He bites his lip and pulls my mouth back to his. “Fuck. I need you.”
