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Jeremy gives me an “are you serious” look, and I sigh.
“I have no idea, but he’s been weird since I woke up.”
“Hmm.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m thinking. Jesus. Chill out.” Jeremy opens the door for us, and I walk through. Scanning the area, I find Paul sitting with Carpenter and Willis, smiling at something Willis is saying. What the fuck?
He turns his head, and when he sees me, the smile drops, and an emotion I can’t name covers his face. Damn. What the hell did I do?
Jeremy whistles quietly, and all I can do is nod. I fucked up big.
Anxiety eats at me, making me fidgety and nervous. I grab a few things to eat and check out with my meal card. Even Preston is aware of the tension because he didn’t say shit about the bacon or toast on my plate. Jeremy leads us to the table where the guys are sitting, and as we set our trays down, Carpenter looks between Paul and me, who stands.
“I was just leaving. Later.” Without a backward glance, he deals with his tray and leaves the hall.
I drop heavily into my chair and look at Carp. “What the fuck happened last night?”
“You two assholes were drunk as fuck.” He motions between Jeremy and me. “While he was digging a foam tit out of Albrooke’s pants, you jumped on Albrooke’s back and wrenched Johnson’s shoulder pretty good.”
Preston’s head snaps toward Paul, eyes wide with possessive fury. Jeremy reaches for him under the table, but all I can do is watch the love of my life walk away from me.
Eventually, they all get annoyed by you and leave. It was only a matter of time.
Fuck. Did I seriously hurt him?
I shovel the food into my mouth, not paying any attention to the conversation around me, then stand and leave. Hustling to my dorm room, I hope he hasn’t left for class already.
I burst into the room, ignoring Nikki standing outside again, and Paul jumps at the unexpected entrance, but turns his back to me again.
“I’m sorry I hurt your shoulder.” The words come out sounding almost like gibberish in my rush to get them out.
“Whatever,” he huffs, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder.
“No,” I almost shout, grabbing his arm. “I don’t remember most of last night, but whatever I did that made you angry, I’m sorry. I’m sure I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Paul clenches his jaw hard enough for the muscle in his cheek to jump, then sighs and leans into me, his forehead against my cheek. “I have to get to class.”
My entire body slumps. Resigned and heartbroken. It’s stupid, right? Weak? To be this hurt that someone is mad at me. Paul is my person. He has been for a long time. Even when I was sleeping with Jeremy, Paul was my comfort.
Now my skin tingles, and ice shoots through my veins as the fear of losing my best friend settles on my shoulders.
I love you, Paul. Please don’t leave me.
I know I’m broken. I’ve expected him to get tired of me forever, but now that it’s happening, I can’t breathe.
With tears running down my cheeks and shaking hands, I drop my face into my palms and cry.
What did I do?
28
Paul
Ineed to get my shit together. I’m punishing him for my own issues, and it’s not fair, but I don’t have the words yet to explain it. He didn’t do anything wrong. It was my own imagination fucking with me. My insecurities playing with my fears.
But I’m scared.
