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I collapse on Brendon, not giving a shit about the cum mess that we’ll have to clean up.
“Okay,” Brendon pants. “That was awesome, and we should do that more often.”
I chuckle and turn my head to kiss his neck.
“Definitely.”
“If you don’t get up, you’re going to be glued to me, and that’s just not my kink.” Brendon runs his hand through my hair and pulls on it playfully.
“Shhh, I’m sleepy.”
He laughs, making me bob up and down. “You could sleep through a tornado, I swear.”
“You love my dive alarm, and you know it.” I nip his neck, then sit up, unsticking my chest from his.
“I’m going to throw your phone out the damn window one of these days.”
I run my hand down his side and smile at him. “Come on, let’s rinse off. We have to get to practice.”
“Oh sure, fuck my brain into jelly, then make me go to practice. Real nice.” Brendon rolls his eyes but sits up. His gloriously naked body is so distracting, even in my post-nut haze.
He’s not super cut, there’s some padding on his muscles, and I love it. He clearly works out but loves food too. I love his body.
I climb off the bed and grab his hand to make sure he follows me into the bathroom. The shower isn’t huge, so we bump into each other as we try to clean up, but I don’t mind. I like the contact.
“Does this mean I can touch you whenever I want?” I ask as he rinses the soap off his stomach.
“Was that ever not allowed?” He turns to look at me like I’ve lost my mind. “I always want you to touch me. If I could ride on your back like a backpack all day, I would.”
I chuckle and lean in to kiss him quickly.
“I’ve loved you for a long time,” I tell him quietly, looking at my feet. In the steamy shower, it feels safer to tell him this. “I was afraid you would see it and stop coming to me when you needed to cuddle or whatever.”
Brendon cups my cheeks and lifts my face to his.
“How long?”
I sigh and close my eyes.
He’s your husband, you can be vulnerable with him.
“Basically, since you joined the Lumberjacks.” I hold my breath and wait for his reaction. Wait for him to be angry or disgusted or something. It’s stupid and logically I know that, but it doesn’t stop the fear.
“Paul.” My name is sad on his lips. “Why didn’t you ever say anything? I thought you were straight up until a few months ago.”
I chuckle and look at him.
“Definitely not straight.” I wrap my arms around his lower back, comforting myself with him. “I was scared you didn’t see me the same way, that you would stop talking to me.” I shrug and lay my head on his shoulder. Normally this position is reversed and he’s leaning on me, but I like that I can rely on him to be strong for me sometimes. That’s what relationships are all about, right? Switching who is strong.
“I keep waiting for you to get tired of me and leave.”
I lift my head and take in the truth of those words on his face.
“What? Why?”
He shrugs and rotates his wrists in that nervous way he does sometimes.
“Because of the bullying?” I can’t imagine talking about it is fun, but I feel like this is something I should know.
