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“You know what they say when it comes to newer models versus the original?” I yelled.
“What’s that?”
“They don’t make ’em like they used to. Cheaper parts. Anyway, you’re a smoke show, Sarah. He’s smoking crack.”
“Well, thank you.” She held onto me tighter. “You know, it kind of felt good yelling everything out.”
“Really? Do it some more.”
“What do you mean?”
“Yell out your frustrations!”
I didn’t think she was going to take me up on that until I heard her scream behind me at the top of her lungs.
“Fuck you, Trent!”
“There you go!” I said, revving the engine and going a bit faster. “He’s missing out on a damn good time here, too. Suits him right.”
We rode along without talking for a bit.
“Your turn,” she said. “I know a little about your dump story. You said her name was Kelly. What was so special about that vibrator anyway?”
“The clit tickler,” I yelled.
“What?”
“Did you not hear me? Or do you just want to hear me say it again?”
“I heard you. I guess I couldn’t believe my ears.”
“Clit tickler!” I yelled even louder. “Say it again for the people in the back. Clit tickler!”
She was laughing hysterically. “Please explain.”
“I don’t know how comfortable you are with this stuff.”
“Do you think I’m some kind of prude? I’ll have you know, I actually own a Lucy Goosey vibrator.”
“Oh man. Do you happen to have the make and model number?”
“Why?”
“I want to know if I had anything to do with the design.”
“I can let you know.” She squeezed my side. “Anyway, tell me about this clit-tickler thing. How did it come about?”
“Well, as you know, my ex also worked for the company. One night I was…going down on her. And she said, ‘Damn, you’re so good at that. You should patent it.’ I asked her to be more specific. She said it was the precise way I tickled her with my tongue. So I started designing this contraption that would attach to the vibrator and apply just the right amount of pressure on a woman’s clit. The idea of a clit tickler was nothing new. But it was the specific mechanism and speed options of the one attached to Dr. Phil that made it special—that and the warm lubricant dispenser.”
“How could she do that to you?”
“Very easily. She’s an asshole, number one. Number two, we had detailed discussions about it, so I made it easy, I guess. Because all of our conversations were verbal, I had no way of proving she wasn’t the one who’d initiated the design.”
“Fuck you, clit-tickler-stealing bitch!” she screamed.
“Nice!” I laughed. “I like it when you’re angry.”
“Would you be offended if I bought Dr. Phil, though? You know, to see firsthand what you’re talking about?”
“Butterfly Kisses, it’s officially called. And not at all. I absolve you of any guilt.”
Sarah and I had a really good time on the ATV ride, but I didn’t want to push my luck with her. So after we returned our vehicle, I told her I was heading back to my motel.
“Would you want to join me for dinner?” she asked.
I acted casual. “Yeah, I mean, if you want the company.”
“It would be nice not to eat alone.”
“That’s the only reason you want me there, so you don’t have to look pathetic?”
“No. I want you there because I enjoy your company,” she admitted.
“Okay then.” I grinned. “Why don’t I go back, shower and change, and I’ll meet you at La Casa at seven.”
She smiled. “Sounds good.”
***
Five margaritas in, Sarah was shitfaced. Let’s just say, she asked if I wanted to dance—even though there was no music or dance floor in this place. It was all good, though. This lady needed to unwind. After talking further at dinner, I learned she was more deeply scarred by her breakup than I’d thought. It had done a number on her self-esteem and made me want to kill that fucker for making her think she was less than she was, when in reality he was the insecure one.
I got the impression that she felt sorry for me because of what happened with my ex stealing my idea. I never wanted to come across as braggy, so I didn’t flaunt my wealth. Even though I didn’t get credit for Dr. Phil, I’d made millions by going on to create a number of novel adult products that did very well. I now also owned a decent amount of stock in the company. Basically, I was shacking up at the motel down the road when I could’ve funded this vacation for both of us many times over. I hadn’t taken the trip for the free ride. It was about the blind adventure for me.
“Can you walk me back to my room?” she asked.
I paused, unsure if she was suggesting more than just a walk. “Of course. I wouldn’t let you walk back alone this late.”
