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I’m grinning like a giddy teenager when Rockwell finally comes for me. Travis is with him, but as soon as he sees Jocelyn, he whispers something to Rockwell and waves goodbye to us. I wonder if those two will ever sort out their differences.
Rockwell comes around the corner of the table to my side. “Any chance you can slip away for a bit?”
“She’s already made arrangements so she can abandon us for you and has been counting down the seconds.” Gabby’s matter-of-fact voice is accompanied by a knowing smile.
I roll my eyes. “Please, take me away from my nosy friends.”
Rockwell chuckles. “My pleasure.”
I cross over to Rockwell and hand him a hot chocolate. My eyes trail to the orchard while he sips his drink. I don’t know how Bearwood took on the old-school tradition of wassailing through the apple orchards to bring good luck to the next year’s harvest, but I love it. A group of carolers are stationed at the front of the orchard, and lights are strewn throughout the trees creating a lighted walk. It’s my absolute favorite.
“You want to walk through the trees, don’t you?”
I look up at him. “Am I that obvious?”
“You’re that predictable. You might miss your chance to get pictures with Santa if we go now. Can you pass up your hard-earned prize?”
"Easily," I say with a laugh.
He finishes his hot chocolate and throws away his cup. When he returns to my side, he stretches out his hand. After our luck at Bob’s Grill and Warren’s Grocery, I’m surprised he wants to claim me in public. I’m not going to complain. In fact, I’m taking it as a step of faith of his own. I curl my gloved fingers into his and we head to the trees.
He tells me about the success at Snowball Slam, and I brag about my cookies selling out. Before we know it, we’re at the end of the tree lane, lights twinkling like stars in the trees above us.
“Want to keep going?”
It’s déjà vu back to high school and our first kiss. He’d said those exact same words. But this time, it’s like he’s asking about us, not extending our walk.
I don’t hear a long-term commitment in his words, but I’m hit with a strong realization. I will take right here, right now. Even if it’s only one more day. It’s one more memory to hold on to. “Yes, I do.”
We leave the lighted path and trek out deeper into the orchard. The music fades behind us, and the moon lights our path. I shiver, and Rockwell puts his arm around me, tucking me close.
“This takes me back,” he says.
“You and me both.”
When we’re out of sight from the others, Rockwell turns me to him. “I have something for you.”
“Christmas isn’t until tomorrow,” I put my hand out anyway, “but if you insist.”
“Oh, I insist.” He reaches into his pocket. I can’t discern what he pulls out and places in my hand. It’s fairly lightweight. When he moves back, the moonlight reveals a small piece of greenery. I lift it closer to my eyes. Yes, those are white berries. It’smistletoe.
My breath catches.
Rockwell steals his arms around my waist and tugs me to him, making my heart race. “I won’t kiss you unless you want me to, but I do want to tell you how I feel." He pauses and my world stops. "I needed time to heal, Brie, but I wasn’t mature enough to know how. I regret walking away from you. These last few weeks have changed me. I’ve been happier than I’ve been in years. I haven’tlaughedthis much in years. Being with you has been an awakening. I see things differently, my senses are sharper, and my heart . . . I feel hopeful again.” He brushes my cheek with his thumb. “It’s because of you. Thank you, for everything.”
His sincere words move me, but I latch onto the end. His thank you rings with finality, like an ending to a brief fling. “I’ve been happy too.” I look at the zipper on his coat, while I work up my courage. “I’m going to miss you when you leave.” Why do I suddenly feel like crying? There’s an ache in my chest growing faster than I can control it.
Rockwell’s hand grips the back of my jacket. “Brie.”
I can’t meet his gaze. I really will cry then. I realize now I wasn’t careful enough with my feelings. But I’m in too deep now. Curse my stupid list. When he leaves, my heart’s going to break in two.
“Brie, look at me.”
I try to still my emotions long enough to look at him. When I meet his gaze, my chin trembles. I hope it’s too dark for him to notice, but I forget about it myself when I lose myself in his eyes. They’re holding me as sure as his arms are.
“I want to be with you.”
I swallow, my heart pounding. “What about LA and your mom? We’ll never see each other.”
