AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You’re not being selfish,” Jocelyn assures me. “It’s normal to experience multiple emotions at the same time. Our brains don’t work in mono-feelings.”
“That’s profound,” Gabby says. “Listen to her.”
Jocelyn nods and squeezes my arm. “Yes, listen to me. You need a major distraction. Why don’t you tell us exactly what has been happening between you and Rockwell this last week? You two appeared pretty cozy at Wassail Night before everything happened.”
Her words don’t bother me like Brad’s did. The difference is the delivery. Brad cares, but he shows it all wrong. Jocelyn does it with her arm curled around me like a school counselor to a hurting child.
I shrug again. “We were making progress. A lot of progress.”
“And?” Gabby prompts.
“And I like him. He meshes so well with my family, he’s as thoughtful as ever, and he doesn’t want me to stop working toward my dreams. I know he hurt me, but he has an added strength to him from what he’s been through. I should have known a relationship with him was too good to be true.” I lay my head on Jocelyn’s shoulder. “There’s no way he’ll consider staying in Bearwood now. He’ll insist on having his mom close to a good hospital.”
“Wait,” Gabby leans over me so I can see her gaze. “Rockwell is considering staying here?” Her eyes go wide, and she starts slapping my leg. “You didn’t tell us this crucial piece of information!”
“Wasconsidering. There is no way he will now. This is his mom’s health we’re talking about.”
Jocelyn nudges me, forcing me to sit up. “How can you lose faith in him so quickly?”
“I’m not losing faith in him. His mom is in the hospital, remember? She comes first.” Why are they shaking their heads at me? “What?”
“You need to talk to him,” Gabby says. “You’re making assumptions without clarification.”
“I hate when you get all logical on me,” I say.
She reaches over and strokes my head. “I know I held a grudge against him for a while, but he’s proven himself to be a stand-up guy. He makes you so happy, and that’s worth fighting for.”
A small moan escapes. “Joce, back me up. I shouldn’t get in the way right now.”
Jocelyn sighs. “Do you want to know what I really think?”
I nod, hoping I don’t regret it.
“I think he’s feeling alone right now with a tremendous amount of responsibility piling on his shoulders. He could really use a friend to lean on.”
She’s right. They both are. I groan again, this time louder. “I want to be there for him, but it’s so confusing. I was supposed to see his flaws and finally get over him, but I didn’t. I’m attached now. I’m a lame, romantic sap. I’m not sure if I can separate how I feel and how I should feel. I don’t know how to just be his friend.”
They both stare at me. Neither one can solve this for me.
I chew on my lip, thinking in circles. The space in my heart for Rockwell has only grown since he came back. And if I care so much, how can I let him suffer alone? It’s not as complicated as I’ve made it. The answer is simple—I can’t. I suddenly throw the blanket off my lap and jump to my feet. “I know what I have to do. I have to go to Spokane—as Rockwell’s friend, not as his girlfriend. He needs me.” And this time, I can’t let him suffer alone.
They smile like I finally said something right.
Jocelyn stands and puts her arms out. I fall into them. Gabby hugs us from behind.
“Thanks. I needed this.”
“Rockwell needs a hug right now too,” Jocelyn says. “Go give him one for us.”
I nod into her shoulder. “Okay, but you have to let me go so I can get on the road.”
They laugh and help me collect a few things in case I need to stay in a hotel overnight. I throw in my toiletries, and as a last-minute decision, I pack the ornament I bought for Rockwell.
Gabby shoves in a fleece throw. “Hospitals are freezing, you’ll need this. Then she sticks in a box of candy canes along with a couple of card games. “Give the nurses some Christmas cheer and distract yourself with the games.”
Jocelyn packs my lunch box with bagels, yogurt, jerky, granola bars, and a couple of waters. “Make sure you feed that man of yours. He’ll need the energy to take care of his mom.”
The next thing I know, I’m tearing up. “You two are the best.”
