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“Why haven’t you been answering my calls?” The voice on the other end of the line is husky and tired. Paired with the three-day stubble I saw shadowing his jaw, and the ghostly, bloodshot eyes, something really seems to trouble him.
“I just don’t see what we could possibly have to say to each other,” I manage, however faint my voice is. “You threw me out of your car like a piece of trash the other night.”
Pause. “You know damn well why I did that.” Was that his voice breaking?
“Do I?” I whisper, walking slowly towards the window. This time I keep my back to the wall next to it, peeling the blinds from the pane, trying to keep out of his sight. But even though I can’t see his eyes clearly, I can feel it when they zoom in on my hand. My skin sears.
I snatch my hand back. His focus is uncanny.
Declan breathes heavily into the phone. For seconds, he doesn’t say anything, and neither do I. But I can’t help it. I peel away the blinds again and stare at him standing there in his black hoodie and jeans and boots as if the piece of male beauty that he is could ever be anonymous. I wonder if he’ll ever understand how preposterous that is.
“What do you want, Declan?” I finally let out with a sigh.
Another pause.
“Your lips wrapped around my cock again,” he eventually growls into the phone.
I should throw a freaking brick down at his face, but instead I rub my thighs together, pressing them against my needy nub. I didn’t even bother to masturbate these days. There’s no point. Nothing could come even close to his kind of fuckery, the kind that you taste once, and you know you’ll never be the same again.
“You can forget it.” Every word hurts as it leaves my mouth, but I have to raise a barrier between us, even if it rips my heart out.
Another pause, his breathing labored, angry.
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“You got what you wanted, Declan. You punished me.”
“One night wasn’t enough, for either of us, and you know it.”
“What I know is that I won’t be paying for it my whole life. You promised you wouldn’t spread that video around, and I believed you.”
“I’d never do such a thing,” he declares before I get the last word out. “I wouldn’t have done it even if you refused me that night.”
I swear my anatomy changes, and my heart beats in my mouth. I swallow past the lump in my throat, and I can taste tears. No, I can’t be touched by this. The bastard used me like a whore. I might have enjoyed every second of it like the twisted bitch that I am, but I’m not gonna find sympathy for my abuser. Because that’s what he is.
“With more reason, then,” I reply.
His breathing turns faster, his anger rising.
“Is there someone else?” he demands. “Are you into some other guy?”
I want to scream out the ‘No!’ that sits on the tip of my tongue, but it’s not like he’s gonna make me his girlfriend if I give him that certainty. He probably lost some faith in his power of enslaving any girl he fucks because I didn’t answer his calls. Probably no one has done that before. Hell, I wouldn’t have resisted the temptation either, if I’dknownthat he was bombarding me with calls and texts.
No, I have to do what must be done.
“I need to lay low for a while,” I say. “The campus is freaking raging with stories of how I’m your new toy. It will take a while until I live this down, and being seen anywhere around you would only add to my problem.”
He doesn’t move at all as he stares up at my window with the phone held to his ear, his legs planted apart. All he does is stand there, almost in a fighting stance. Damn, I deserve a prize for holding my ground the way I do. Rejecting him is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.
“I can fix your public image, if that’s what you care about.”
I scoff. “Yeah, I care about it. Not just the internet is forever, Declan, college is, too.”
Especially in my field, and he knows that as well as I do. I’m studying to be a journalist. An investigative reporter was the original plan, but I’m gradually becoming more comfortable with the idea of a news anchor. A by-product of all the weight loss I’ve done is that I don’t find that idea ludicrous anymore.
“I’ll come up there,” he says. “Let’s talk.”
I shake my head, wondering if he can see it from this distance.
