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Mila said it next at bedtime.
“Goodnight, Mommy.”
I wrote that down on my list.
Then Seraph got me by drawing it on her wall. She had started a gratitude list, just like Maddy had. She wrote hers on her wall every day.
I walked in there to grab laundry and saw it.
Today’s List:
New Markers
Clean Sheets
Cats
Whiskers
Mom
Mom’s baking
Mom’s hugs
Mom’s heart
I cried for an hour.I also took a picture on my phone, then Google searched the local rescue shelter to see if they had any adoptable cats.
Our lives were slowly blending into an intricate braid that, while fraying in some places, was still holding. It was that reminder that kept me sane when my heart just wanted to break.
It was Saturday morning, and the sun was bleeding into the room, proving my sheer curtains were a joke. I’d have to go back to the wooden slats Liam had before. Which meant he’d have to help. Unless I went back to asking Jeffery for help.
That thought almost made me laugh. How ridiculous would that be? It was like inviting a bunny rabbit into a wolf den…a wolf that had already gotten a taste for blood.
No, that wouldn’t work.
Fuck, I missed Liam.
His arms, his scruff against my thighs when he woke me up on Saturdays. The way he held me at night. The gaping hole in my chest seemed to widen as I realized we were likely never going to get past this. It wasn’t what he said. I could understand being in the moment and saying something you regret.
But we wouldn’t get past his pride.
It was a wall of stone. I had no tools to move it, nor any desire to.
A few tears gathered in the corners of my eyes as I stared up at the ceiling, watching the shadows swirl and spin as the sun caught pieces of the tree outside and cast it along the walls. I couldn’t seem to get the dream out of my head from last night. It was the moment on my thirteenth birthday when Blaire told me those haunting words, all those years ago while sitting in my brother’s garden.The most powerful asset you will ever have is the power to forgive.
I needed to forgive him. I wanted to. Part of me already had, but—
I heard something being slid under the bedroom door.
Curious, I crawled out from under the massive feather duvet and tiptoed over to the door and bent down.
It was a note.
Gripping it in between my fingers I scanned the text with a furrowed brow…
Today’s List:
