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Time slowed as he watched me, thinking.
Silence stretched as I heard the clock on his wall tick, until finally his mouth parted.
“Then we tell them.”
My chin fell to my chest, my head shaking.
“I think they need more time.Ineed more time. They’ve been through more than I’ll ever know, Liam, but deep down I feel like they need time before we drop this on them.”
My eyes lifted, catching the sorrow in his. I pushed through the searing pain his expression left resonating in me.
“I think you need time, too. I mean, I’m not saying your relationship with Lacey ended recently or anything—”
“It’s been four years, plus years before that of sheer torture. I’m more than over her,” Liam cut in.
I mashed my lips together, deciding to pull it off like a Band-Aid.
“She was waiting by my car the other day after I dropped the girls.”
His body tensed like it did when I had told him about the park and the girl’s aunt. His eyes went frantic as they tried to pull the rest of the story from my expression with a silent request.
“What did she do?” he asked quietly, likely trying to restrain his anger.
I wanted to touch him. To remind him it was okay, that I was still here, but that wasn’t entirely true. I wanted distance. And I wasn’t sure he’d still want me after I took it.
“She just reminded me how much your girls went through and put this entire thing into perspective. My feelings for you…they’re not so small that they’d be over any time soon. It’s not a fling to me, Liam.”
“You think it is to me?” he asked taking a step back, getting defensive.
“No, that’s not what I meant. I’m just saying, I want to do this right.”
His hand tunneled through his dark hair, his jaw tensing, his eyes pleading.
“And the only way to do it right is to take a step back?”
I nodded.
“Fuck, is this why you’ve dodged me for days?” He paced around the room before turning to me again. “What does a step back mean exactly?” His tone went high, like he was getting desperate.
“It means platonic everything. I need space. I want to help with the girls, do lessons if you’re up for it, but no secret relationship. No kisses. No sex.”
His hands landed on his hips as he shook his head, staring at the wall. Then his gaze cut to me.
“So you’ll still be everywhere, just nowhere that I can have you?”
My head screamed to stop this. I didn’t want this.
I wanted his arms to come around me and erase the last five minutes.
But I loved those girls. I wasn’t sure how I did so easily and so quickly, but I did, and because I loved them, I would do this right. I would wait and build a foundation here in their lives, so I’d never be shaken from it.
“I want solid footing with them, Liam. They deserve to have someone in their life that won’t leave.”
He nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing nearly as painful as my throat seemed to feel.
“If this is what you want, then fine. It’s not like I have much of a choice. I don’t agree with it. I want you, and if we need to tell everyone in order to make that happen, then we should just do it.”
“I want you too, Liam. I just also want them, and I won’t risk losing them.”
