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I folded all the blankets on the couch and found my keys, wallet and phone. Then I walked into the kitchen to find Haley. She had moved, leaning against the counter while holding her mug of coffee, talking to Rae.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I have to head back. I was going to see if you wouldn’t mind driving us back?”
Haley glanced once at Rae before clearing her throat and setting her mug down.
“Actually, this girls’ weekend extends to today, we’re helping Nora spray and decorate all these Mason jars. I was planning to bring the girls down when we’re done, if that’s okay…”
Colson came up before I could respond, slapping me on the shoulder.
“I’m headed back. I’ll take you.”
Haley beamed. “Perfect, we’ll see you once we get back.”
She turned away and started talking with Rae again, leaving me with the same sense she had before I ever left—like she wasn’t ready for this. Fuck if I was going to let her do that again. I tried to steady my heart, but the blow still hit as heavy as a sledgehammer.
I gave her a fake smile and dipped my head.
“Of course…I’ll just see you guys at home.”
I turned on my heel and headed toward the door to get my boots, unsure why it suddenly felt like coming home early was a colossal mistake.
19
LIAM
My house smelled completely different.
There was a new picture hanging above the entryway. It was fashionable, something with barnwood and white cursive writing that boasted about being home and something else I didn’t put the effort into reading. My eyes moved to the gap above the wall, where green plants now sat in large ceramic pots, at least five of them artfully draped over the ledge. It added color to my white walls, and so did the blanket ladder…and did she buy a new chair?
Above the couch were four huge canvas photos of my daughters hung in place. One of each girl individually, and the fourth was all of them sitting on an exposed river rock, giggling while the sun caught in each of their hair.
My breath caught, and my nose burned as the reality of missing so much of their lives sank in. My eyes kept jumping to every little detail the photographer had caught of my kids. Their smiles, their eyes…their little chubby cheeks. The coordinating outfits they wore. Maddy and Mila were in pale pink dresses, and Seraph was in a deep burgundy. I had never had professional photos taken of them. Lacey and I had some taken before Mila was born…but nothing on my own, nothing with all three of them.
I coughed to clear away the tightness in my throat and moved so I’d get past the emotion.
The kitchen was different too. New cutting boards, knives…I opened the cupboard, and a matching dish set was there. She’d upgraded our chairs and added a new cushioned bench. Was the table different too? It was a pale gray, modern fashioned to fit the newer style she’d thrown up on the walls in different pictures. She’d added a huge bulletin board near the pantry door, where each of the girls’ schedule were printed with a colored sticky note system. I read a few of her notes on the side and smiled.
Drop-off: 8:40
Pick up: 3:25
Groceries:
Little oranges…whatever those are called, just not the big ones. Pop-Tarts, strawberry—check into organic if that’s such a thing, new pens and a new notebook- and fruit roll-ups.
Costco:
chicken, spinach, pasta (the kind Mila loves) toilet paper, zip lock baggies, chicken nuggets (the dinosaur kind), panda snacks (google this—she had no idea how to explain it), healthy snacks, cereal, multi-vitamins, tampons.
I didn’t have a Costco membership, so that must be something new she’d done along with everything else in my kids’ lives. Part of me was glad she didn’t sit around and wait for permission. She took the reins and accepted a role I thrust on her with no training or preparation. I ran my hand through my hair as guilt settled into my chest.
Going up the stairs, I nearly passed Seraph’s room when I paused and walked inside. Her white walls were all replaced with black chalkboard paint. Seraph had drawn large murals on nearly every wall. She had bright curtains and a white comforter to offset the dark colors in the room, and with a few plants and soft lamp lighting, it actually looked really good.
I wandered further down the hall until I reached my room. Haley’s delicious floral smell was everywhere. There was another new chair up here, facing the window. She’d added lilac sheer shades over the large window that looked over the street. It added color to the room. The bed was also covered in a light lilac feather duvet, and there were four huge pillows where my flat ones used to be, and about fifteen throw pillows.Was this Haley’s favorite color?
At the edge of the bed sat a cushioned bench with a cozy-looking throw blanket. The dresser, where my TV used to sit, was replaced with something larger and the TV was now mounted on the wall.
Who the hell had helped her hang and move all this shit?
