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“I think panic might not be the right word. He was slightly embarrassed and shy, definitely feeling a bit nervous, but it didn’t last long. Once we’d talked it out and he saw that I wasn’t worried about his reaction—and that I wasn’t going to make a hasty exit—we talked for a bit longer and then I left.”
Before Malcolm could open his mouth, I added one last detail. “After I made sure he was in the right headspace and I was as confident as I could be that he would be fine.”
Chuckling softly, he gave a nod. “I’m not worried. If I had any hesitation about how you would take care of him, I’d have never passed along the message.”
Then why was he on my porch?
The rent wasn’t due and we hadn’t done anything stupid, so this was definitely about Ruslan.
“I just wanted to make sure you were feeling good about the date and you didn’t have any questions.” He raised one eyebrow when I just shrugged. “I know you don’t really have anyone besides me and Jack who can see both sides of this.”
“Yeah, I’m doing my best to be careful of Ruslan’s privacy.” It wasn’t hard so far. I’d just mentioned that things were new with the guy I was dating and made it clear I wasn’t going to talk about it yet.
Living with guys in the lifestyle made it easier to be vague without them thinking it was troubling weird…they’d just think it was kinky weird and move on. “But I also made it clear to him that my friends know I’m a Dom and that I see myself as a Daddy.”
“Good.” Nodding to himself, Malcolm looked down the street, obviously thinking about Ruslan. “He’s a worrier by nature, but he’s a good guy.”
Did that mean he thought Ruslan would be fine with my level of private versus his?
“I agree. He’s a great professor and all the more professional interactions we had were good. I just need to get to know him in different ways now.” I wasn’t so overconfident that I knew we’d magically be perfect together, but everything in me said he was the one.
“His little side is much more confident and outgoing than his grown-up side, so when in doubt just color and watch cartoons until his little side is tired of hiding from whatever his big side is nervous about.” Malcolm’s advice was delivered so dryly it made me laugh.
“Yeah, I saw that in action the other night.” It was definitely helpful. “I’m hoping we won’t have to go theget little to relaxroute tonight, but I’m flexible. My only goals are getting a better handle on his limits and for him to see firsthand that I want to get to know him as a whole and not just his little side.”
“I think those are reasonable goals.” Malcolm’s tone said he wasn’t just giving lip service to the words. “And I think you guys are going to be good together.”
As long as Ruslan could move past his worries.
“I think so too.” Not sure how much to share with Malcolm, I glanced back down at Ruslan’s place. “We’ve had some good conversations even though they’ve been short and light. His little side likes trying to peek out because he keeps asking me about dessert and hinting that I should make him dinner.”
Malcolm laughed. “I’m surprised you didn’t do that for your date tonight.”
“I thought about it, but I’m pretty sure if we were at his house, he’d end up little and we’d color most of the night. That’s not a bad thing, don’t get me wrong. But he needs to see that we can have grown-up dates too.” It’d be a bit too easy to slide me into the friend who plays with him slot if I wasn’t careful.
“That makes sense.” Shifting and letting out a breath that said he was getting ready to leave, I wasn’t surprised when Malcolm rose. “He finds it easy to shift into his little side, but you guys need to have a more well-rounded relationship than that.”
Yes, because simply being his Daddy friend was not my goal and not what I thought he wanted in the long run.
“Have fun and let me know if you need to talk.” Malcolm headed down the stairs before I could do more than call out a goodbye, and headed down the street in the opposite direction from Ruslan’s house.
I couldn’t decide if his visit had made me more nervous or less, but I gave myself a pat-down to make sure I had everything I needed before I got up and went to my car. It was good to know that Malcolm approved, but it was stressful to be reminded again how much was riding on our first out-of-the-house grown-up date.
Ruslan liked being little and he liked how his little side didn’t seem to worry as much, but his big side needed to see that he didn’t have to worry about me, and I wasn’t sure that would be as easy as our first date had gone.
He was stubborn and a bit clueless in an adorable way, and I wasn’t sure I knew the best way to help him let his guard down.
Kissing worked, but there was only so often I could use that strategy without it becoming problematic. But for the time being, kissing and bribes might hold me over until his head realized there wasn’t anything to worry about with me.
I just wasn’t sure how long it’d take to get us to that point.
****
“I’ve been thinking about coming here for a while. This was such a good choice, thank you.” Ruslan didn’t seem to realize that I’d picked a restaurant as far from the campus as possible, but I was glad that he approved anyway. “I saw some pictures online and it looks just like you’re visiting Italy and not just sitting in Olive Garden.”
That had me trying not to laugh.
“Should I fuck with you and tell you that I love the Olive Garden aesthetic?” My teasing made him groan and he blushed faintly.
