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I wasn’t done with her. Outside that door she was a woman I didn’t recognize and I wanted to hold on to the Pina I knew—the one that gave me peace—so I caged her waist with my arms and pulled her back.
“I’m not done.”
“I am. Let me go, Garon.”
She pushed down on my hands, but we both knew she had no chance of escaping. It didn’t stop her from wiggling in my arms and fighting me though, but even like that, her body pressed to my naked chest affected me. My temper settled down and I was content.
What in the world gave Pina Bernoulli that power over me? I’ve been searching for something—anything—to let me find some peace, but nothing worked like her touch. I’ve fought that feeling, I’ve looked for other pleasures all around Europe, and still, I was here, back to her. I foundher.
“Don’t leave, Pina.” I said, this time pleading with her.
“I have to.”
“I can’t let you. Stay a little longer.”
She stopped fighting and turned into my arms, so she faced me. I looked into the face of a Pina I’ve never seen before. She was beautiful—she always was—but now she was different, less fragile.
“Why?”
Why indeed. I didn’t know how to put into words what she was making me feel. My life was a walk through darkness and destruction. My brothers saw a man who didn’t care for his responsibilities, but I was too fucking angry with myself for letting Father ruin so many lives to care about anything else. I knew better than any of them what a despicable devil he was and I was too much of a coward to say a word. That was the burden I was carrying with me every day and all I wanted was to be relieved from it. Sometimes vodka was enough, but Pina was the cure.
I was selfish to ask for more, but I was never good at thinking about others. With rushed moves, I sneaked my hands under the shirt covering her, feeling the creamy skin on Pina’s body. She shivered under my fingers.
“What are you doing?” She whispered. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what, Pina?”
“Like you want to kiss me.”
I wanted to do much more than that. If anyone would lead Pina down a road filled with corruption and pleasure, ithadto be me. She stopped shivering and looked me straight in the eyes.
“I will kiss you, Pina.”
“Why? You don’t even like me. You said you couldn’t look at me.” She was visibly hurt.
“You bring back bad memories.”
“Let me go then.”
To shut her up, I took her mouth and kissed her as deep as possible. She tasted the same—dolce e puro8—hints of passion lingering on her tongue. She surrendered to me with no fight, opening herself up while I caressed her with my tongue. We tangoed together and before we broke it off, Pina scrapped her teeth across my bottom lip.
“You didn’t stop me, Pina.” I pointed out and she laughed at me.
“You are so blind, you can’t even see what’s been in front of you for years.” A wave of confusion hit me. “I could never say no to you. Whatever you ask, I could never say no.”
She looked down and shook her head, but I pushed her chin back up.
“I like looking into your eyes.” I confessed. “They make me feel calm.”
“Why did you send me away then?”
She was not pulling her punches anymore.
“I did you a favor. I was so angry with the Bernoulli family, I couldn’t see straight. My mind was the same as that of a rabid dog until Grazia woke up.”
Pina bit her lip. “She’s OK, right? She’s not hurt anymore?”
“She’s fine.”
