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“No, I already had one and I… umm…”
“Right.” She nodded slowly. “You’re pregnant.”
“Yes.”
“Giovani called Salvatore first thing in the morning to tell us you’re back in Palermo and pregnant, no less, and I thought it was either a joke or a mistake.” She laughed shortly. “I said ‘nope, not Pina, she doesn’t fool around and get pregnant; she knows better than to lose her head over some guy’.”
“I know.”
“And then I heard Garon’s the father and I believed it.” This time shereallylaughed. “He was always your weak spot.”
“No.”
“Pina, one time you forgot to breathe for forty-five seconds because he told you that you looked pretty. You almost passed out.” Right. I forgot about that particular moment. “My brother is having a child with my best friend. It hurts that I’m the last one to know.”
And it hurt to know that I’ve hurt her.
“Grazia, ever since I found out, I lost sleep over how I should tell you. Garon and I had no idea how everyone would react.”
“React? It’s a child, we’re happy! It’s just shocking.”
“Try being me. I still hear the doctor’s voice in my ears telling me I’m with child.”
“How did it happen?”
I raised my eyebrows. “You need instructions?” The joke didn’t spare me from answering. “Garon came to Rome…”
“Wait, stop. Why were you in Rome? Why not Switzerland with your family?”
“They left me behind.” The sympathy on her face almost killed me. “Come on, Grazia, don’t look at me like that. You know they only wanted Ariana. They had no interest in taking me with them, but I told them I want out of Palermo, that there was too much blood. I think Father thought that if you died, Salvatore would have me killed and he just didn’t want to have that blood on his hands, so I was allowed to leave with them, but their generosity only took me so far. They left one day in the middle of the night without a word.”
“Oh, Pina.”
“When Garon found me in Rome, I was in a bad situation and he got me out.” It was all the details I could give her because I wanted to bury those memories so deep in my mind, they’d feel like an ugly dream.
“Are you hurt? Did anyone…?”
“No.” I shook my head rapidly. “No, don’t worry. I just didn’t have enough money to get by and I was working in a bar. Your brother didn’t like seeing me like that.”
“Of course he didn’t, Pina. You are one of us. Leaving Palermo was just… stupid. Did you really think anyone would blame you for what that bitch did to us?”
Someone did. Garon.
“No one had to. I saw you, Grazia. You were pale, almost dead. Salvatore? The mighty Don Fiori was a shadow of the man you know. I couldn’t live with that.” It wasn’t a lie. The shame was there even before Garon told me to leave town. “I’m back now. Does that count for something?”
“Count for what?”
“Us. You deserve better friends than someone who skips town and didn’t take your calls for months, but you’re still my dearest friend.”
“Friend?” Grazia smiled and took my hand. “Pina, I’m your sister. You are carrying my niece or nephew. We’re not friends anymore, we’re family.”
The tears started before I could stop them and I jumped across the cushions, taking Grazia into my arms. Ever since we landed in Palermo Garon tried his best to make it seem like we were both back home and things were good, but none of us felt any peace. He had to talk with his brothers and I had to look Grazia in the eye and let her know what this new reality was, and now it was like a sense of calm settling around us.
“It doesn’t feel real.” I told her and my hand moved down to my stomach where something felt different. There was no bump yet, but I could feel a change.
“It will. Rebeca was the same when she find out she was pregnant with Emiliano. You’re going to start to show soon and the proof will be right under your nose. Do I need to be worried about you?”
“I’m fine.”
