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“No, he wasn’t.” I looked away. “My mother had an affair when she traveled to Genova to visit her parents and got pregnant. Fabiano knew, but he never said anything because he didn’t want Mom’s indiscretion to be a stain on his image.”
“Oh.” She sucked in a sharp breath. “Oh,Dio. Is Grazia…?”
“No. She’s Fabiano’s daughter. I’m the only one.” I cleared my throat. “My mother was a good woman, a fucking angel. She married Fabiano to take her father out of debt instead of marrying the man she loved, and despite that she stood by him. She was the perfect wife, mothered eight children, and she always did her best to make sure Fabiano came out on top. Ariana Caputo was amazing.” There was not memory I had with my mother where she was less than perfect. She raised us with love, all of us, and she kept us away from all the bad parts of her life. She always took care of the people around her.
“I know, Garon. She was our godmother. Maybe only my sister got your mother’s name, but she was always so good to me. You don’t need to defend her. Fabiano wasn’t a good man to be married to.”
I laughed, it was bitter and joyless, but her words were ridiculous. “He was terrible to her, Pina. He was never home, never affectionate with her, had a new mistress every week, and when my mother finally cracked and stepped out on her marriage he never let her forget. He called her a whore from the day I was born to the day she died.”
“She had a relationship with your biological father until she died?”
“No. Two nights, that’s how long they had together. His name was Aron Garza and they dated before Fabiano was in the picture. When Mom got pregnant with me it was the first time she saw him since she got married.” I gulped. “Fabiano knew I wasn’t his child the moment he realized Mom was pregnant because he was too busy screwing his whores to have another kid. He had Garza killed before I was born.”
Pina sucked in a breath and jumped to her feet. “Oh, God, that’s terrible. Why would he do something like that?”
“Because he was the Don of the Caputofamiglia, and even if he didn’t give a shit about her, no one was allowed to touch the Don’s wife. Plus, he couldn’t risk Garza talking and embarrassing him.”
Pina’s skin was pale, all blood drained from her by the shock.
“Oh, Garon. Does anyone know about this? Your brothers?”
“God, no!” I said with horror. “Only four people knew the truth and three of them are dead, Pina. You and I are the only ones that know.”
The graveness of my confession hung heavy above our heads while the house got submerged in thick silence. I looked at the marble floor, too afraid to look up and see what was waiting for me on Pina’s face. She always watched me with some kind of admiration, even when she was mad at me, and the truth of my paternity might just have destroyed it.
We sat quiet for a long time—too long—it felt like a lifetime, until two shivering hands grabbed my face, forcing me to turn my eyes to Pina.
“You’ve been carrying this burden all alone?” Her voice broke. “Oh, Garon.”
“No, you don’t understand.” I shook my head, rejecting her gentle compassion. “Don’t you understand. You didn’t end up a Caputo. There’s nothing for you to be proud about. I’m a fraud hiding behind a legacy that’s not mine.”
“I ended up with the man I love.You!” She sighed. “Garon, I never liked you because you were a Caputo brother or because you were the Don’s son, that’s something Ariana would care about. I liked you because of the million other things that make you who you are. Your brave heart, the fierce way you love Grazia and your brothers, the way you always made me laugh, even when I had the worst days.” Her lips curled into a slick smile. “And your handsome face and perfect body, of course.”
“Pina…”
“No, let me finish. I’ll take your secret to the grave if that’s what you want, but there’s no reason for you to hide. Fabiano was a foul man, he was corrupt beyond salvation. Not sharing his blood is only for the best.”
“My family is bound by blood, and if I’m not one of them, then who I am?” I asked the question that had been torturing me for years, hoping that maybe she had the answer.
“Not one of them? Do you really think your brothers would reject you just because you’re some other man’s child? You still have the same mother.”
Yes! No!I didn’t know what to answer her. In our world, family stretched beyond blood. It meant people who are bound by honor and blind loyalty, but the bond of brotherhood between the Caputo children went beyond that. Part of me believed that bond would survive even if they’d know, but it was a risky bet.
“I can’t risk it.” I finally said to her.
“Well, I can tell you one thing, even if Fabiano would have bought you by the side of some road and brought you home, it would never change the way Grazia feels about you. I know her. You couldn’t get rid of her if you tried.”
“Yeah.” I chuckled. “I tried.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything.”
“This secret really ate you from within, didn’t it? That’s the darkness you’re talking about.” I nodded silently. “Garon, is this why you acted out?”
“When I’m sober, all I think about is this. The parties and the women numbed me for a while.” I leaned in and kissed her softly. “Andyou.”
“Me?”
