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Rafa’s head tilts.
Nico tugs on my hand. “Come on. We need another person since my dad doesn’t want to play with us.”
Rafa ruffles Nico’s hair. “Only because Julian always wins.”
Nico drags me toward the unopened Monopoly box waiting at the kitchen breakfast table while his dad returns to watching the game. My godson pulls out my chair like a gentleman and waits.
When I don’t move, he pats the seat with a furrowed brow. “Sit.”
His request widens the crack in my chest until I find it difficult to breathe.
“I can’t.” The pain in my heart intensifies with each beat.
Nico’s brows crinkle. “Why not? It’ll be fun!”
I wrap my arms around myself and take a long step back.
The puzzled look on his face adds to his charm and my distress. “Are you okay? You seem sad.” His bottom lip wobbles.
Rafa glances over his shoulder. “You good?”
“I need to use the restroom.” I bolt toward the hallway with blurred vision. I’m disoriented as I pass my bedroom and rush down the hall toward the guest bathroom my sister and I share.
So much for the antidepressants doing their job.
Tears fall in a frustrating act of betrayal. I went fromsuffering with never-ending numbness two months ago to feeling too much all at once now and crying more in the last few days than in my whole life.
Be patient with yourself and trust the process.
Screw the process. I don’t plan on leaving my room until—
Someone yanks on my elbow, and I gasp as I’m pulled backward.
“You better have a good reason for upsetting my kid.” Rafa’s rough voice startles me.
I recoil. “What?”
“Are you…crying?” He squints with a frown, throwing me back into the past.
I’m so sick of you feeling sorry for yourself.Oliver’s lips curled with disgust.
You can fake it for the cameras just fine, but when it comes to me, you can’t be bothered to do the bare minimum.His words were venomous, flooding my system with paralyzing self-loathing and hopelessness.
Call me when the Dahlia I fell in love with is back, he texted me later that night, only to come back a week later to let me know we were done.
“Dahlia.” Rafa’s rough voice tethers me to the present.
I wipe my face with the sleeve of my sweater. “I’m sorry for upsetting Nico. You know I would never do that on purpose.”
Rafa’s harshness melts away. “What’s wrong?”
I’m not sure what possesses me to open up to Rafa of all people, but I can’t let him think I made Nico upset for no good reason.
“I… You see…”Shit. “I’ve avoided being around kids sinceI found out I will never have any.”
He blinks a few times. “And then you saw Nico…”
I nod, unable to finish his sentence, mainly due to the tightness in my throat. “It’s only been a few months since I got the news—” I’m cut off by my sob.
