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His deep sigh of resignation shouldn’t be endearing, but Julian has a way of making the most mundane sounds interesting.
I find the cream and open the jar.
He reaches for it. “I got it.”
I pull away. “Seriously, what’s your problem? I’m trying to help you.”
“No need to burden yourself,” he whispers to himself.
I didn’t expect my comment to elicit that kind of response, which makes me momentarily feel bad. “It’s okay to ask for help. In fact, I encourage you to be the biggest burden since it does wonders for my ego.”
“My dad didn’t need anyone else’s help.”
“Your dad was alsoun cabeza dura, no offense.”
He laughs. “None taken.”
“You can admire your father without trying to emulateeverything about him, you know?”
Un cabeza dura:A hard-headed person
He nods. “Yeah, I’m aware. It’s a bad habit I picked up as a kid, and now it’s more of a pride issue than anything else.”
“What happened when you were a kid?”
He gives the door a forlorn glance.
“You can tell me.” I press my hand against his stubbled cheek. My touch only lasts a second, but it does the trick of getting Julian to open up to me.
“It’s no secret my mom suffered from depression. It started as postpartum after giving birth to me, but then it became more permanent after the miscarriages, a stillbirth, and the financial struggles my parents had.”
My nose stings. I always admired Josefina and her battle against depression, but now that I’ve gone through my own experience, I have a whole new level of respect for her. Little by little, I hope to be as carefree and fearless as Julian’s mom.
Julian leans into my hand cupping his cheek. “At first, I didn’t want to add to my dad’s worries because he was already struggling with my mom’s episodes. But then Rafa moved in with my family, and I felt self-conscious about complaining because his problems were so much bigger than mine. Asking for help seemed selfish when he and my mom needed it so much more.”
I can’t keep my eyes from watering.
His gaze hardens. “It’s nothing to feel sad about.”
“I’m not sad. I’m…”Dammit, youaresad.“Emotional.”
Julian’s face reveals nothing. “Why?”
“Because you’ve put other people first, even when it meant struggling on your own.”
He shrugs. “At least I’m living up to my title of Second Best.”
My heart might implode. “Our competitions only made your insecurities worse, didn’t they?”
“No. They pushed me to be better.”
“You were always the best, Julian, with or without the trophies or accolades.”
He blushes.
“Expressing our feelings has never been our strong suit, but I mean it. You’re the best son, brother, godfather, and businessman I know.”
“I’m the best godparent, but we can agree to disagree.”
