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God, I’ve lost count of how many times I wished he were here, dropping proverbs whenever I needed them.
Mejor solo que mal acompañado:Better to be alone than with bad company.
When the right person comes around, you’ll know it, I tell myself.
But what if the right person has been there all along and I screwed it all up because I was a stupid twenty-year-old who didn’t know any better?
That question has kept me awake since Dahlia returned last week, along with the what-if scenarios that could have happened if I had processed my grief the right way instead of isolating myself.
CHAPTER NINE
Dahlia
“Do you get cell service in that little hometown of yours?” my agent, Jamie, asks as soon as I answer the phone.
I wince. “Sorry about not returning your calls.”
Avoiding Jamie was easy after listening to her first voicemail, when she asked me how my planning was going for my next décor launch, but dodging my other friends’ texts and calls has been more challenging. Reina, Hannah, and Arthur—the three TV crew members I befriended onBay Area Flip—send messages in our group chat daily despite me only sharing an occasionalI’m still alivetext.
While that statement is true, I’m not exactlyliving, so until I am, I plan on keeping away from everyone.
Jamie makes a soft chuffing noise. “I’m only teasing you. How’s the R and R going?”
Seeing that I got out of bed before noon, took a morningwalk around the neighborhood, and helped my mom make breakfast, I’d count today as a win despite it only being ten a.m.
Look at you finding the bright side.
“Good. I needed the break,” I reply.
“After wrapping up that last season, I don’t blame you.”
“Yeah.”
“How are you doing mentally?”
I loosen my tight grip on my phone. “Some days are good, and some days are…”
“Absolute shit?” she finishes for me.
“Exactly.”
“I know life sucks right now, but things will get better. I promise you that.”
The ball in my throat grows larger. “I hope so.”
She speaks after a brief pause. “I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but a reporter reached out with questions about your breakup.”
My body turns to stone. “Oh.”
“My team gave them the response we approved together.”
Stomach acid bubbles, rising in my tight throat. “Right.” Besides Oliver and his family, Jamie is the one and only person who knows the real reason why my engagement failed, and I hope to keep it that way, regardless of how many times Lily and my mom try to pry the answers out of me.
“I re-sent the signed NDA to Oliver and your ex-agent just in case.”
My laugh comes out hollow. “You’re the best.”
“You might not be saying that in a minute.”
