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I wish I could tell Father Matteo these things, but I can’t. It’s bad enough that I’m already thinking of it. When it’s spoken into truth, that’s when it becomes a true sin.
“No.”
He doesn’t look convinced. “If you’re sure…”
“Positive,” I beam back, smiling widely to cover up the fact that I’ve started to sweat. “I actually have to go. I wish I could stay and chat.”
“Of course, I understand.” He eyes me wearily, maybe hoping that I’ll give himsomething, but I don’t. He sighs and gives me the sign of the cross. “I’ll see you at mass tomorrow.”
I leave the chapel before Father Matteo can try to drag anything else out of me. Instead of making my way straight through to the van, I bypass that route and head over to the dance studio. The music is thumping loudly on the other side of the door when I reach it, so I let myself in. Kendall’s standing in the center of the class, hair in two pigtails as she tries to teach the kids to do a box step. I smile tenderly at how uncoordinated they all look, like little baby deer trying to find their footing.
“Hey, Kendall?”
“Mr. Walker! Kids, keep practicing. I’ll be right back.” She bounces toward me with all that great enthusiasm. “What’s up?”
“Just Jarred,” I say, reminding her thatMr. Walkeris the name of my father, not me. “I have to go into town to pick up some things. Keep an eye out on the camp when you’re done?”
Her face brightens as she brings her hands to her chest. “Oh my! Absolutely! Thank you so much for trusting me!”
“Just make sure nothing burns down,” I chuckle, watching as she nearly fans herself to stay calm. “Father Matteo is in the chapel if you need anything.”
Technically he’s qualified to run the camp too, but I want to give Kendall a bit of leadership training. She’s been an excellent bunk leader, and I can see that she has a future in this industry if she ever chooses to go down this path. If she wanted a job here year-round, I’d give it to her in a heartbeat.
Kendall is one of the good kids. She’s smart, sweet, and attentive. She’s nothing but kindness and rainbows and promises for a happy future.
Unlike—
“Is there anything else you need?”
I shake myself out of my own head. Kendall’s got her brows pinched in worry as she looks at me. I quickly school my features and smile. “No. I’ll let you know when I’m back.”
She nods happily and goes back to her instruction, praising one particular student even though they’ve managed to kick their partner in the shins. I exit the studio after that, not wanting to witness any more painful accidents.
I don’t like leaving the camp at all if I can help it, but I’m planning a barbecue after mass tomorrow, and need to pick up some last-minute things. I run through the list in my head as I make my way to the edge of the camp where we park the vans. I’m not looking where I’m going and nearly run into the counselor until a firm hand stops me.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I—What are you doing here?”
Noah furrows his brows in confusion as he smokes his cigarette. Leaning against the edge of the van, his shaggy hair hidden under his beanie, hisCamp TrinityT-shirt tight on his body, he looks so at ease. So opposite of the way I’m feeling. I look down at the spot where his hand is touching me and I jump back.
“It’s my turn on van duty,” he says casually, taking another drag of his cigarette as he reaches into the van for the schedule. “What? You’re the one that made it.”
“I…I didn’t see that,” I say, stuttering through my words as I look at the schedule and take a step back.
He raises his brows and deadpans me with a bored look. “Is this going to be a problem?”
I look back over my shoulder at the camp. Since it’s on the schedule, everybody else who’s licensed to drive the van is already busy. I look back at Noah and his apathetic expression. Why is it that he always needs to look so…edible? Even with his grumpy mood and his sour face, he’s still one of the most stunning things I’ve seen.
The light afternoon humidity makes his shirt stick to his skin, showcasing that lithe body I’ve felt against mine. His nose piercings glitter when the sunlight hits them just right. His lip piercing moves and jostles as he tugs on his bottom lip.
“I guess it’s not,” I say, handing him back the schedule. “A problem, I mean. No, it’s not a problem.”
He nods as he snorts to himself and puts out his cigarette, crunching it under his boot before hopping into the van. “Let’s go then.”
I gulp audibly as I go to the passenger side. I enter slowly, almost cautiously, and he doesn’t waste any time taking off. He asks where we’re going, and I give him a mumbled response. After a few minutes, I can’t bear to sit in silence any longer. We’re an hour away from the closest little mountain town, and I’m going to go crazy if I can’t talk.
But it’s not just that. Noah looks so…aloof. Cool and distant in the worst way. I told myself that it was best to keep some distance from him, but I want to know him. The craving, the itch, the unrelenting need to be inside that fascinating mind is overwhelming.
“So,” I cough, adjusting the collar of my polo just to give my hands something to do. “You go to UNC?”
