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He reaches for the dildo, and I’m already nodding in anticipation of what’s to come. I know what he’s going to do, and I ache for it. I crave it. He slathers the dildo with lube and positions it and himself at my entrance. His eyes, glossy and drunk, flick up to me one last time. “You sure?”
I try to push myself against both of them, but he tsks as he pulls away. My lips are set in a tight line as I growl at him. “Fuck me, Noah. Give it to me.”
He chuckles darkly and pushes both himself and the toy inside me. I’ve never felt so full. Never felt so free.
Then it starts fucking vibrating.
I’m fucking shameless. I’m begging him to keep going. I’m twisting and turning and jerking my body. The noises that leave my mouth are foreign to me, and they become part of the brutally lustful and dirty symphony we make.
“Holy shit!” I shout, nearly jumping off the bed at the sensation. “Yes, yes, yes!”
“Fuck! I don’t think I can hold it any longer,” he groans, his muscles straining with the intensity, his free hand reaching over to jerk my cock. “Give me another one, Jarred. One more.”
At his command, I come, and I comehard. I paint my chest with proof of what we’ve done and, with one final brutal stroke, I can feel him filling me up. He’s panting and covered in sweat as he collapses on top of me. As he fucks my mouth with his tongue, I can feel him playing with my sore hole, pushing his cum back inside of me.
So dirty. So perfect. So much like everything I’ve ever wanted but never let myself have.
He flops down on his back beside me and kicks at my leg. “Come here.”
I can do nothing but comply with his demand. It takes all my effort to tuck into his side. He rests his arm under my neck as he pulls me to his chest, settling his chin down on the top of my head as he kisses my sweaty forehead. “How do you feel, babe?”
“Good,” I answer truthfully, my voice shaky as I melt into him. His hot hard body beneath mine feels like paradise. Once again, I’m shameless. I cling to him for my own sanity. He tenderly strokes between my ass, and I only wince once when he pushes his cum back into my hole.
“Any guilt?”
I swallow harshly. I don’t want to think about that. I promised him I wouldn’t, but he’s the one that brought it up.
So, I answer honestly.
“Yes.”
He hums, kissing my temple once again as he murmurs sweet nothings in my ear. “We’ll work on that. I have no intentions of letting you go anywhere.”
And for one blissful second—away from the guilt and away from the sin—I agree.
I don’t want to be anywhere he isn’t.
CHAPTER15
NOAH
As I hold Jarred close to my chest, I can’t help but notice how perfect this feels.
I’ve never been a big cuddler, not with the girls or the guys I’ve fucked. It seemed like something mandatory to do, so I did, if anything just to let them know I wasn’t going to throw them away like trash. But my heart was never in it. I always felt just a little uncomfortable, holding someone close to my chest, letting them hear my heartbeat, but it’s different with Jarred.
I want him to hold onto me. I want him to depend on me. I want him to know that I’m here for him. I fucked him hard, probably harder than I should have fucked a virgin, but I don’t think he regrets it.
I asked him if he felt any guilt, and I can appreciate his honesty. What’s freaking me the fuck out is the cuddling. I love this. I love this almost as much as I loved fucking him. I can feel myself getting attached, but I know better than to cling to someone who can leave me at any second. I know what it’s like to crave validation and attention and be denied it—thanks, Mom and Dad.
But I’m letting myself fall into this position because Jarred is special, he has to be. If he wasn’t, why would it feel this way?
“What are you thinking about?” I ask him, brushing his sweaty hair off his forehead.
“Jenny,” he mumbles against my chest.
My heart stops and my blood heats. “Who the fuck is Jenny?”
He chuckles against my chest. “My ex-wife.”
