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He starts at my ankles, kissing each one, his lips smooth against my skin. His tongue traces a path up my calf, paying special attention to the area behind my knee, and it makes me erupt in goosebumps. He leans up, takes my cock in his hands, and kisses the tip. His tongue swipes out to taste my precum, but it’s not as aggressive and animalistic as it usually is.
“The first time I saw you, I knew I wanted you,” he whispers against my cock, rubbing it against his cheek in something akin to admiration. “When I saw how scared you were about what you wanted, I wanted to protect you.”
I gulp audibly. “Noah…”
“You are…” He pauses as he crawls up my body, sucking one nipple into his hot mouth, moaning around the peak. “I don’t even know if I can put it into words.”
I’m nothing but putty in his hands, under his tongue, against his body. “Can you try?”
He looks up at me, smiling like…like I mean everything to him. “I’ve told you you’re perfect, but I don’t think you understand what I mean by that. It’s not just this gorgeous body.” He presses his chest against mine and buries his face in my neck. “Your soul, Jarred. Babe, your soul is so perfect. It’s so pure. It’s meant for me.”
And I can feel that it is. I feel the tugging, the pull, the all-consuming connection I have with him right now. He slinks back down my body, gently pushing my legs apart and against my chest. He doesn’t need to tell me what to do. I wrap my arms around the back of my thighs and open up to him. He stares at my hole with reverence, closing his eyes and he leans forward and practically inhales me. I can’t find it in me to be sheepish or embarrassed because of how content he looks.
He kisses my hole. Once, twice, three times before his tongue laps at it. He sucks, he kisses, he caresses until he slowly works his tongue inside of me. I close my eyes and just bask in it. Bask in his attention, his care, his admiration. But I grow impatient and needy. I want him. I want him to fuck me because this feels like too much.
“Noah,” I whine breathlessly, letting go of my thighs, so I can reach for his shoulders. “Please…”
“Not yet, babe,” he says against my hole, working a wet finger in me. “I need this.”
I don’t know what he means by that. I can’t begin to understand what’s going on in his head. But when he slides three fingers into me at once, stretching my tight hole, I lose all reason. What his motivations are doesn’t matter at the moment. All that matters isthis.
Finally, he takes mercy on me. He licks his wet lips, almost as if trying to memorize my taste as he reaches for the lube in my nightstand. He strokes himself a few times but doesn’t immediately plunge in. Instead, he lays down beside me. I’m confused yet again. This is supposed to lead to mind-blowing sex, but he doesn’t seem to be in a rush.
He lays on his side and moves me over until I’m mimicking his position. He takes my leg and hitches it around his waist, bending it until it’s practically tucked under his armpit. I furrow my brows at him, but he only pecks my nose.
“I want it like this,” he says, lining up against my hole before pushing in. I groan and he smiles, tracing one finger down my nose as he seats himself fully inside me. “I need to look at you, babe.”
I nod dumbly because now that he’s inside of me, all is right. I’m pliant and moveable as he manages to get my arms around his neck. He presses his forehead against mine and brushes his nose across my cheek. “Open your eyes, Jarred. Watch me.”
I follow his command because there’s no way I can’t. What I see shocks me. I gasp as he slowly thrusts in and out of me, his murmured groans stirring something inside of me. His eyes—those beautiful hazel eyes—are like windows into his soul. I can see everything he’s feeling. He’s bared to me, vulnerable for me, and it makes me want to cry. Not because it’s upsetting or I’m against what’s happening but because he’s trusting me with this part of himself.
“I think you’re it for me, babe,” he murmurs against my lips, one hand brushing the hair away from my face. “I can be whatever you need me to be.”
This time tears do spring in my eyes. “Baby, I don’t—”
His hand wanders from my hair, down my chest, wrapping around my cock. “Nice and slow. Fucking you like this. Do you like it?”
“Yes,” I groan, closing my eyes briefly when his cock drags against my sensitive walls. “I’ve never felt this before.”
“Tell me what you feel.”
“Seen.”
“What else, babe? Give me more.” He grunts as he pulls all the way out before slowly sliding back in. “Give me everything.”
I gulp and nod, lying on my back as he hovers over me. He places one hand on my heart, the other still stroking my cock. “Complete. I feel complete.”
“I’ll always make you feel like that,” he says. “I’ll be your dirty secret. Just don’t take this away from me.”
“Never,” I say desperately, leaning up so I can kiss him. I pour everything I have, everything I can give into this kiss. I want him to know how deeply I feel for him. I need him to know that despite all the obstacles we face, I never want to let him go. “I’ll always want to belong to you.”
Noah likes this. He moans low in his throat and finally gives me what I had been expecting. He doesn’t need any toys or any filthy words to make me come. His beautiful torture is enough, that tenderness gets me there. It fills me slowly, curling around in my gut, like molten lava dripping down a volcano. I come on a gasp, coating his hand in my cum, shaking and shuddering as I feel him fill me up.
And I wish I could be whatever he needs me to be, but I can’t. Not yet. And my heart stings because a brutally cruel thought crosses my head and tears at my heart.
Maybe not ever.
CHAPTER23
