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“Get the fuck off me!” I growl, ripping myself out of his open arms because it’s not going to be okay. Nothing is ever going to be okay again.
I run as fast as my feet can carry me, ignoring when the parents try to stop me with their hateful words and disgusted looks. They have every right to be angry. They have every right to hate me.
Almost as much as I hate myself.
I did this. I brought this upon myself. By choosing Noah over God, by not being able to resist temptation, and by allowing myself to indulge in carnal sin, I’ve turned God against me.
God is punishing me and sending me straight to hell.
And it’s all Noah’s fault.
CHAPTER27
NOAH
“Who the fuck did this?” I yell, rage coursing through my veins, the monster inside me coming to the surface. The sounds of Jarred and me play through the room, but I ignore it when I catch a smug face staring at me. “You!”
I barrel my way to Bryce, knocking him on his ass as I grip his collar. I raise and bang his body against the floor, seething with so much anger I think I might burst.
“What?” Bryce chuckles, eyes flickering to the screen where my sex tape still plays. “You didn’t like the show?”
I can’t help myself. I think of Jarred’s panicked face. I think of what this is going to mean. I think of everything besides a rational thought as my fist lands and cracks against Bryce’s nose. “You fucking asshole! Why did you do that?”
“Because Jarred shouldn’t be running this camp! Because what you two are is a disgrace to everything this camp stands for!” he yells, spitting up some blood that’s trickled down to his lips. “I couldn’t just let this go by and accept that a faggot was trying to teach children about God!”
“No, you sick son of a bitch! You did this for your own amusement! What if there had been kids in the audience? I’m going to kill you!”
Before I can strike him again, small hands are trying to pry me away from this fucking lunatic with a death wish. I fight against it, my ears ringing and my vision going hazy. I want Bryce’s blood. I want his pleas to stop. I want his cries. They’re going to fucking nourish me for the rest of my life.
“Noah!” Kendall screams, still trying to get me up. “No!”
I struggle, fighting against her iron grip on my wrist as I go for Bryce again. “Let go of me!”
“No, you’re going to do something you regret!”
“Trust me, I won’t regret it!”
“Patrick, help me!”
Once there are two bodies pulling at me, my own strength weakens. I’m dragged away from that piece of shit Bryce, hauled across the room, and thrown into the kitchen. I still see red. The sex tape is still playing, mocking me for not fucking Bryce up more than I did. I rush to the kitchen doors, but Kendall blocks my path.
“Let me out!” I roar, not wanting to hit her, but needing to get out there and torture that fucker.
She places her hands on my chest to push me back. “No!”
“Noah, calm down,” Patrick begs, coming up behind me to wrap his arms around my chest. He’s not trying to hold me back. He’s almost hugging me. “Breathe with me, Noah. Think about Jarred.”
Jarred. The man of my literal dreams. The one whose livelihood was just destroyed. The look on his face when he ran out of the dining hall, it was excruciating. It looked like someone had stabbed a knife into his stomach and dragged it painfully up to his chest. I don’t know if he realized he had been crying, but thick fat tears were streaming down his face.
I feel like a complete failure because I promised I’d keep him safe. I told myself I’d protect Jarred from anything. I made a vow that Bryce would never do anything to harm us. Although I never could have predicted this, I failed him.
“I can’t believe Bryce did that,” I sob, letting Patrick’s embrace pry out the agony of what just happened. “I…I need to see Jarred.”
“What Jarred might need is some space,” Kendall says with a sympathetic shake of her head. “You saw what just happened.”
I shake my own head. “You don’t know that. You don’t know him like I do.”
“Kendall’s right,” Patrick says, letting go of me when he realizes I’m not going to run. “He just had your sex tape flashed on the screen in front of the parents of every kid here. Give him a minute.”
