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“I’ve been looking into seeing if the camp could partner with a non-profit LGBTQIA+ organization. Maybe during the off-season, we can provide housing for the kids that have been kicked out or are on the streets.” He shrugs, scratching the back of his blushing neck. “I guess the rest depends on you.”
I furrow my brows. “How?”
“I was hoping I could go back to UNC with you.” His eyes widen and he corrects himself. “I mean, we would get an apartment, and maybe you could stay with me on the weekends. I’d still drive up here, but we could have more time together.”
I can’t describe what it does to me that he’s been seriously considering our future together. Before, he couldn’t give me anything pastI don’t knowandfor now, but he’s been thinking about it. It also makes me irrationally happy to think that he’d be willing to drive a total of twelve hours every week just to be close to me.
“That’s very optimistic of you,” I tease, knocking his shoulder with mine. He just chuckles lightly as we stand outside his cabin.
“I’d say more hopeful than anything.” His expression turns serious, and he reaches for my hand. I give it to him, relishing in the way his calloused hand feels against my palm. “I really do love you, Noah. I want us to be together.”
“Me too.” I suck in a sharp breath. I can’t believe tears are springing in my eyes. This is a good thing. It’s a good thing that he’s planning our future, that he’s accepting me, and that he wants me. But… “It just…it still hurts.”
His face softens as he tucks a stray hair behind my ear, his fingers gently tracing across my cheek to brush against the piercings in my nose. He leans down and kisses them both, resting his lips there for a second before pulling back. “I know, baby. I would take it away if I could. I’d turn back time and cut my own fucking tongue off.”
I bite my bottom lip, fiddling with my piercing before I sigh. “I…I think I could move in with you. It would save me money. It’s probably cheaper than paying for the dorms and the meal plan.”
His brown eyes sparkle with joy as he cups my cheeks. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I pull back, however, because there’s still something that’s not quite right. So, I change the subject as I open the cabin door and walk through. “So, how’d your first appointment with the therapist go?”
He mentioned that the other day, that he’s started seeing a therapist to help him overcome the things that happened to him when he was younger. Apparently, Mary referred her to him the day he came back from visiting me. His therapist does virtual appointments, so it’s been easy for him to incorporate it into his week.
“Good,” he smiles as he heads to his kitchen table where his laptop rests. He speaks with his back to me as he starts up the computer. “Nothing was really solved, but we have a plan.”
“That’s great,” I say, joining him at the table as I sit next to him. “I’m happy for you, Jarred.”
His fingers still on the laptop as he turns to me. “I’m really trying, Noah.”
“I know you are.” I lean forward before I can stop myself, burying my head in his neck. The rapid beating of his pulse under my lips does something to me. I can’t help but kiss the spot which makes him groan. “Jarred…”
“Give me a chance, baby,” he whispers against the top of my head, wrapping his arms around me.
Can I do that? Can I give him one more piece of myself? Can I try to move on from everything he did and everything he said? Can I take the risk that my heart might break all over again someday?
It only takes his lips against my temple and his whispered confession of love to give me my answer.
Fuck yes.
He’s changing. He’s trying. He’s moving on, and he wants to move on with me. He’s shown me that he sees my worth. He’s been patient with my process of trying to move past what happened.
He’s a sweet soul—genuine and pure—and people make mistakes. I meant it when I said I would protect him, care for him, and be there for him. I’d be a hypocrite to turn my back on him now, especially when he’s becoming his best self.
And, the most important part, is that he’s doing it for himself.
He just wants me on the journey with him.
“Please,” I whisper, brushing my lips gently against his as I let out a weak sob. “Please, don’t hurt me again.”
He lets out a muffled sob and drags me onto his lap. He cradles my face in his large hands, eyes penetrating my soul, all his intention and conviction as clear as the dusk sky. “Never. Never, baby. I’m yours and you’re mine. No matter what.”
And that’s all it takes for me to smash my lips against his.
It feels like…it feels like the heaven I used to not believe in. It’s the most glorious sensation—this passionate love-filled kiss—and it sparks a deep need inside me. Not just for his body but forhim. It makes me feel like a fool for resisting him because I can taste his remorse and I can savor his promise and I can lick across the secret that we no longer are.
He lifts me effortlessly, bringing me blindly toward his bed, and laying me down gently across his comforter. His fingers rest on the hem of my shirt, and he waits for me to give him permission before raising it up and over my head. He then falls to his knees, going straight for my jeans and taking them off with accurate precision. I don’t bother to hold back my satisfied moan when he takes me into his mouth, his tongue dancing around my dick piercing, his lips kissing every inch with wet and sloppy caresses.
When I can’t take it anymore, when I need his naked body against mine, and when I yearn to be as close to him as possible, I gently tug on his hair to get his attention. “Babe…I want to make love to you.”
