Page 102 of The Rebel Witch


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I didn’t want to approach it. I didn’t want my skin to turn blood red. In that moment I wanted to be back in my stupid room trying not to finish up Eddie’s pastries and thinking about whether or not I could find a good book to pass the time until Casey came back and I could pretend I didn’t want to see him.

But I did because my fear of the pain he wanted to impose on me was greater than my love. I stood over that ceremonial bowl and stared down inside.

And I felt the first rush of power I’d had in weeks. It sizzled over my skin, reminding me of everything I’d lost when Kelsey had taken me captive.

Power and magic, but also the absence of fear. She’d placed the weight of doubt back on me, and I hated her for that.

You only hate her because you’re too delusional to face the fact that it’s yourself you loathe. Forgive yourself. Give yourself grace.

I shoved that voice aside. It was easier now that I knew what was influencing it.

“You don’t need the demon blood,” the house whispered. “Once you’re free, we’ll find truly powerful blood. I’ll help you. I’ll guide you back to your master. I’m a prisoner, too.”

I closed my eyes and felt the power crackle in my hands. So close. I was close to being able to tap into that part of me that no one should be allowed to subvert. The magic was me and I was the magic. Like the house.

She was still close, her voice whispering as that fog she’d created encircled me. “When you’re free you won’t ever have to worry about feeling again. You’ll be who you were meant to be. You’ll be Myrddin’s enforcer. You’ll help him bring about the new world, a world where witches don’t have to worry. How many of your sisters fell to the sword or the rope or the fire because they feared our power? There are planes out there where witches fear no one. Why not our plane?”

There would only be one way to do that.

To close the plane to Heaven and let Hell rule the inner planes.

Like Myrddin wanted.

In that moment I knew what they’d told me was true. Myrddin would give the Earth plane to the demons, but with the magic flowing through me, it made sense.

The humans would never stop. They wouldn’t allow witches to live. They’d written whole books about how to kill us.

The red glow seemed to whisper to me, showing me the utopia that could happen if we only banished Heaven.

You are as much a child of Heaven as you are of Earth. As you are of Hell. You choose how dark your magic goes. But how can you choose without all of your soul? Without your pain, you have no empathy. Without your empathy, any choice you make will be a selfish one. Is that who you want to be?

I pushed away from the glowing magic that muddled my brain with the promise of power.

Power was an illusion. Power could be taken. Magic could be drained. But there was a piece of me that no one could destroy. No one except me.

Had I made the choice to destroy that piece of my soul? Or had that been an illusion, too? Could I trust anything that had happened in the last twelve years?

“What’s wrong? Did it not work?” For the first time, the house sounded slightly unsure. “You can’t feel the power?”

I had, but now I questioned it. My hand went to the collar around my throat. “I can, but I don’t see how I can wield it until this thing is off.”

Would I feel better when I could tap into my magic? Would these terrible questions fall away? Or would I simply have to ask how much of the magic I’d used in the last twelve years had been my own.

Had Myrddin decided to break me because he thought it would be easy? Or because he’d liked a challenge?

Because he’d wanted to hurt the people I’d loved once.

Love. Maybe even broken, my love was always a present tense.

Kelsey and Casey, Dean had said.She still feels for Kelsey and Casey.

I’d thought that was weakness, but what if that remanent of love was my power?

“I can break it, but I need you to do one small thing for me.” Her voice was soothing. “The lady of the house wears a powerful jewel called the Eye of Night.”

“You want me to steal it? I don’t know that’s happening. She seems to like it.”

“No, I need her to wear it. It’s nothing that could harm her. It’s simply a focus for the magic of the house. Being worn by the current Lady Sloane will give it the power I need to break free. Ensure she’s wearing it when she goes to Lucifer’s realm. The stone will soak up energy, and when she brings it back here, that energy will feed me and I’ll be able to break that collar you’re wearing,” she promised.

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