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Gray turned her way. “We’re about to open a portal to Lucifer’s realm. Even a bit of that energy can make things go wonky here. The house is magical, so we might deal with some weirdness for a day or two. Things like rooms going missing. I would stick to the main rooms until we get back, Casey. I would hate to lose you for a couple of days.”
I didn’t like the sound of that, but I wasn’t surprised. I’d been told by the house she needed the magic from Lucifer’s realm to make her transition.
I wondered what would happen to the actual structure of the house when she became corporeal and left the Midnight Kingdom. I hadn’t thought about that.
What kind of magic would that necklace soak up, and how would it affect Kelsey?
“We’ll deal with all of it.” My best friend stood there stalwart, not looking my way at all. “I want to get this over with. Tix, energize.”
She’d watched a lot ofStar Trek. We’d watched a lot ofStar Trek.
I wanted to smile, to be amused, but I couldn’t connect to that either.
“Be careful, guys. We’ll hold down the fort.” Casey moved in next to me, and I noticed he was holding a wriggling Puff.
All the hellhounds wanted to be with Fen. I wondered how Lucifer would handle that. A Hell creature Fenrir could control might make Lucifer angry or wary. Not taking them along was a good idea.
Tix reached out, and there was a bubbling sound and then a loud pop and they were gone.
If energy had come through, I couldn’t feel it, but then I wasn’t connected to anything anymore. I was adrift, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could handle it.
“What did you say to Kelsey?” Casey knelt down and let Puff on the ground where the big hellhounds surrounded him. The slightly smaller one—the female, I thought—started to lick the little guy like he was her puppy. Hercules stared at the place where Fen had disappeared and laid down like he was going to wait right there until he came back.
“None of your business.”
“Something was wrong with her,” Casey accused. “And I think you know.”
“She’s about to spend an evening with the Lord of Hell. She’s nervous, and rightfully so since he’s a massive asshole,” I replied. Which was likely why I should have helped her and then gone along to support her like I would have a million times before.
“It’s more. She’s been nervous the whole time, but I caught her crying after you left her room. I was going in to tell her about some information I discovered and she was crying in her closet. That was about you,” he replied, his blue eyes narrowed on me.
It looked like I was in for another fight. The good news? If the house was right, I would be back to full power in a few hours and out of here.
Did I really want that? How could I know since I wasn’t whole? An important piece of me was missing. How could I trust the decisions this me made when I was missing crucial parts?
Compassion. Love. Empathy.
Was this who I wanted to be?
Everything Kelsey had said to me felt like a weight dragging me down. It was so much easier to not care.
And so much more cowardly.
“I pointed out some facts of life to her. She didn’t appreciate it.” I walked over to the small bar. As long as I was here, I could enjoy Gray’s excellent taste in alcohol. If I went back to the Coven House, it wouldn’t be allowed. I would have to lead the Profane and be a role model.
Of submission and idiocy. Of being mindless and showing everyone how I let that fucker walk all over me.
“Facts? I’m not sure you’re good with those right now.”
I poured a couple of fingers of Scotch. “Maybe that’s how I like it.”
I seemed intent on poking everyone who cared about me. Probably because them caring about me meant I owed them something. Something simple like caring about myself, too.
I hated how I couldn’t feel joy, but I could feel like my skin was two sizes too small. I could feel anxiety like it was a live wire animating my flesh.
“Liv, come on, baby. Talk to me.” Casey’s hands came up to cup my shoulders.
Oh, I could feel that. Sex. I could enjoy sex. It took me right out of my head, and when that vampire bit me I didn’t think about anything but pleasure.
