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Kelsey. My best friend. Sometimes my whole world.
Kelsey, who carried so many burdens she might not notice one more, especially if she had twelve years to get used to carrying another soul inside her.
I felt tears roll down my cheeks. It was odd. It had been so long since I’d cried. Crying wasn’t allowed either.
But crying is healing. Crying is proof that we can still feel, still love, still want something better.
“How many days did you spend on the Faery plane?” I asked the question in a quiet tone, but Kelsey seemed to understand something was happening.
“I…” She thought for a moment, her expression going serious. “It was four days. Three on the Faery plane and then one in Summer’s realm. Then we went back and found the door and we were here.”
“Except you weren’t.” Gray had turned thoughtful, too. “You went through the door and then you were in Ether. Liv, how long was it before he took your soul? She would have been in Ether by then. She would have been in stasis, and the protections spells wouldn’t have hidden her from something like a soul that needed a place to stay.”
“No, it wouldn’t,” a soft voice said, and I realized Lilith stood in the doorway. “Olivia’s soul would have sought the safest place it knew, that it could get to. No spell could have stopped it, and I believe the Hunter, even in stasis, would have reached out and sheltered it.”
Kelsey put a hand to her chest. “How many souls do I have in me? We’re sure Gray’s mom’s not in there, right?”
Lilith chuckled. “I see your strong, stubborn soul and that baby’s beautiful life-force. He’s going to be magnificent someday and will bring honor to all of his parents.” Lilith approached Kelsey, putting her hand over Kelsey’s. “And there is a piece of torn and tattered soul attached to you. It breathes because of your love, but it wants to go home now. You should know that the piece of Olivia’s soul you carry inside you is currently wrapped around the child. It protected him from the attack. It fiercely guarded him. Gray’s mother never had a chance, which was why I wasn’t worried. I knew the minute I saw you that the baby was protected.”
Kelsey pushed back her chair, and she was the one who was crying now. She moved to me, hauling me up and wrapping her arms around me. “Thank you. Thank you, sister.”
And I felt it. I felt the moment I was ready and my soul opened, felt the warmth that flared between our bodies as the best piece of me reentered.
For twelve years I’d been without the ability to feel anything beyond anger and ambition.
“Hold her,” Lilith said. “This will be hard on her. Don’t fight it, child. Let it flow. Let it all in. Accept it. The love, the regret, the pain. Accept the pain so you can begin to heal. Accept everything the universe has given you in the last twelve years so you can be strong for the fight to come. You think he picked you because you were weak. He didn’t. He stole your magic because it was so strong. He used you like a battery to charge his own and never once found the bottom. That magic is yours again, Olivia Carey. The magic is yours, and so are all your emotions. That is where the goodness of the magic comes from, why he had to separate you from them. They are your strength.”
It was too much.
I’d done this. I hadn’t fought the way I should have. I had allowed Myrddin to drug me, to use me.
I heard someone screaming, the sound of an animal in such pain.
Me. It was me. It was years and years of outrage and heartache and loneliness. I’d pushed away the people who loved me. I’d become something I didn’t recognize.
Somehow I was on the floor, sobbing like I’d never done before, but I wasn’t alone. Kelsey was on one side while Casey had wrapped himself around my back, and I felt his tears on my shoulder.
I wasn’t alone because we felt this pain together. It wasn’t only mine. It was ours because we’d joined our lives long ago, and nothing could break that bond. Not time or space. Not Myrddin Emrys.
Like a soul, this feeling—this love—was eternal.
And I was whole again.
And ready to fight. On the right side this time.
* * * *
Kelsey
I closed the door, feeling better than I had in a long time.
Liv was sleeping, wrapped in Casey’s arms, and they were together without question.
“Are you okay?” Trent stood outside Liv’s room. I was glad I could refer to it as her room and not think the wordprison. Hell, according to Lilith it would be hard to put Liv in a prison again. She’d told me that being with Myrddin all those years had somehow given her more ability than she’d had before. Even as he’d used her magic, she’d pulled some of his and now could call on it. She’d always been able to break the binding spell. Deep down, she hadn’t wanted to.
Deep down, she’d always wanted to come home.
“Yeah.” I put a hand on my belly. “I know I couldn’t feel it at the time, but I feel lighter now. And I know that is not because I didn’t eat.”
