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Whoa. I did not like the thought of my son sitting in utero thinking about what was going on in the world outside. He was supposed to be…I don’t know…sleeping, growing. He was definitely not supposed to have opinions on what I ate. “Absolutely not. And stop talking to my son.”
“He has a name, you know,” Tix said as though it was perfectly normal.
“No, he doesn’t.” I hadn’t even really thought about names yet. It was so early.
“He does,” Tix assured me.
I turned to Gray. “Why didn’t you tell me Tix could talk to our unborn son?”
Gray winced. “I didn’t know. I’m pretty sure he’s bullshitting us.”
Tix shrugged one elegant shoulder. “And yet it is in the handbook I gave you on your ascension to the throne of this plane.”
“There’s a throne?” I had a lot to learn.
“Of course. It’s made of the bones of our enemies, and when the master is angry it bleeds. It’s lovely,” Tix replied. “His crown is made of the teeth of enemies. I polish it once a week to keep it shiny.”
“I’ve never put that crown on my head,” Gray promised me.
So I wouldn’t be visiting the throne room. Eww. “I think I’d like a look at that guidebook.”
“Why don’t you come into the house and I will give you the grand tour.” Tix swept a hand around, emphasizing the glory of the house. “I assure you everything is in readiness for you and your family. Princess Evangeline, I hope you’ll enjoy the room I prepared for you. I worried you would not fit in here, but I can see I was wrong. You’ve changed, and it’s for the better.”
“I’ve changed?” Evan had perked up. “You can see a change?”
Flame red eyes swept up and down her body. “Of course. There’s a darkness to you now. I heard the story of your survival. A primal shared his blood with you. That almost always brings about some form of physical change. You’re fighting it. Why?”
“Because I don’t want to change,” Evan replied.
“Change is the only thing in all the planes that is inevitable.” Tix turned as though he found the conversation dull. “Please follow me. Don’t mind the smurfs. They’re harmless.”
“I’d like to…what?” I had to stop again. “Smurfs? Like the cartoon characters?”
Tix shrugged. “You will find that the demesne adapts to its ruler, and sometimes that includes the ruler’s oddities. The house can sense dreams, and often those will show up. I do not know why the master likes bright blue faery-like creatures who are overly concerned with a cat, but he does. Or did. I think those are dreams from his childhood and therefore they show up from time to time. The house wants to please the lord of the manor and sometimes goes to odd lengths.”
“One time when I accidentally ate a psychedelic mushroom I had a long talk with Kim Possible,” Lee added.
“Accidentally?” Evan’s eyes rolled.
“I liked the show as a kid,” Gray admitted, a flush coming across his skin. “I sometimes have dreams about just sitting around and watching cartoons. It was a nice part of my childhood. I’m afraid when I first came here, I wasn’t used to controlling the space the way I do now. There’s a demonic version of Scooby-Doo running around in the woods. I should have told Trent he could eat that fucker.”
“He is surprisingly hard to catch,” Tix agreed. “Come along. I have everything in readiness and stand perfectly prepared to execute the witch if you need me to.”
“No one is executing the witch.” I had to make that plain. Executions were a serious thing, and I worried Tix might treat it as a light recreational activity.
“And we’ll see if things are truly ready for my charges,” Eddie huffed.
We started to head for the house, walking along the white-stoned path, Gray’s hand slipping into mine. Lee and Evan followed behind Tix while he began pointing out various spots of interest. Gray let them get ahead and then stopped, pulling me close.
“Are you okay?” Gray asked.
I was surprisingly okay. I’d expected to feel awkward here, but I felt oddly settled. As if some piece of me had fallen into place. “Why didn’t you tell me how beautiful your home is?”
“It’s only beautiful because you’re here.”
He was charming, but he still had questions to answer. “I was expecting a hellhole.”
“You’ll find Hell is like all places. There’s a wide diversity to it, as seen in our various kingdoms. There are desert kingdoms where the sand is on fire and breathing hurts your lungs if you’re not used to it. Ocean kingdoms where you really have to watch out for krakens. A twilight kingdom where you’re always on the cusp of darkness or dawn. I expected to hate it here. I never came as a child. When I did as an adult, it was to find the decay of my father’s rule. It did not always look like this or feel like this. There’s a softness to it that didn’t exist before. When my father ruled, there was a malice to the moonlight, I’ve been told. You should understand that not everyone who lives here thinks it’s a good change.”
