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“Oh, yes,” Dean agreed. “You’re the enemy, though I’ve started to wonder exactly how true that statement is. Why did you come back to this place?”
I watched as the doors to the temple opened, and I walked through in my formal black robes. I looked younger. Far younger, and yet there was a hardness in my eyes I didn’t recognize. This wasn’t how I saw myself.
Now I knew which day this was. This was the first day, the moment I became Profane. The first unholy communion. A shiver went through me, some foreboding I didn’t quite understand.
Still, I was glad we weren’t in Wyoming again. I would hate to have someone else witness that.
“I suppose this is one of my proudest moments,” I said, watching as Shera and Calliope entered the room. At this point, Nimue stood in a place of honor at Myrddin’s side. She was his good right hand, his lover, his uncrowned queen. She looked gorgeous in her blood red gown. I’d been told when she’d first came to the Earth plane, she’d had short hair, but she’d grown it out because Myrddin liked long hair on women. We all grew our hair out.
Why should he care about my fucking hair? He wasn’t my lover and yet there I was with hair almost to my waist. It wasn’t pure black at this point. There was still brown and warmth in the color, but that would change shortly.
“Is it? You’re about to take demon blood for the first time, aren’t you? That’s part of this ceremony.” Dean leaned against the wall, his eyes on the scene playing out in front of him.
“I’m going to make my pledge to the master.” I watched myself. I looked…nervous. That’s not how I remembered it. Even though I was not in the body of the dream Liv, I could feel the fine tremble of her hands. My hands. I could sense that it was not anticipation she was feeling.
It was fear.
“You don’t look happy.”
“You’re manipulating the images.” I should have known no spell would keep someone with Dean’s magic down. His magic came from his father, and it was powerful. So powerful he could make me see things that weren’t there.
Or he could show you the truth.
“I’m not at all. Actually, I’m only here because you let me in. I’ve been trying to get into your head ever since I went under. It’s better than concentrating on keeping the fires from burning up my internal organs. Can I ask if that was you who found the spell to stabilize me? The spell is so advanced I would assume no one outside of the witching world would have seen it performed, would know the effects.”
“I’m a prisoner. They forced me to help.” I watched as my younger self knelt in front of Myrddin, who looked resplendent in his red robes. I noted there was someone behind me, also in robes. He was taller than me, and he set a hand on my shoulder. Was he helping me down? Or forcing me? I looked back to Myrddin, who was calm, a satisfied look on his face. Every eye was on him as the loveliest creature in the space.
But then it was not hard to look beautiful when you’d seized all the power and magic for yourself, when you kept hundreds of witches constantly performing spell after spell to give you strength even as theirs diminished.
“I doubt that. I think if you’d kept your mouth closed, they wouldn’t have known you could help,” Dean mused. “Which makes me wonder what you’re getting out of it.”
Anxiety curled in my gut, and I wanted to get this over with. “I made a deal with Evan to help you. I’m getting what I need, and she gets to keep her brother’s crush around for a while longer. It’s okay. You’ll still probably die since the only way to save you…”
It was only partially a lie, but I wasn’t about to tell him the whole truth. Even if this was a dream.
“Is a spell that requires the feather of a fallen angel.” Dean completed my thought. “Yes, that is likely to get everyone killed. I suppose as evil genius plans go, it’s a good one. How exactly are you planning to get into Lucifer’s realm? Are you going to ask the dark prophet to sacrifice for the plot?”
“That was my first thought, but Luci himself came through. He’s planning a party. While we’re there, Lee will steal the feather. Though I do admit we first need to figure out where he keeps his wings.”
Dean sighed, a worried sound. “There’s almost no way Lee doesn’t get caught.”
“Not my problem.” But something turned in my gut. It was my problem because I would be the one who sent him in. Not that I could tell Lee Donovan-Quinn what to do. He tended to make his own plans. “I won’t be there. I’ll be here trying to find a way to smuggle you back to your father.”
Dean nodded. “Ah, so that’s the real plan. I don’t suppose you’re talking about taking me back to the Vampire plane.”
I stared at the man I was talking about. Why did Myrddin seem so much…less than I remembered? Dean was doing something, putting a filter on the memory because I hadn’t cried that day. Yet there I was with a tear-streaked face, kneeling before a man who wore a pretty mask. I know I didn’t cry. That day was joyous.
I watched as Shera started to stand, trying to back away.
A large demon shoved her back to her knees.
That hadn’t happened either.
He was playing with me, but I wasn’t going to lie to him. Once he was in his father’s realm, he would understand. “No, I’m taking you to your true father, and he will be able to fix the problem. I’ve done nothing but help and all I get for my trouble is you invading my mind and playing with my memories.”
“I am not the one who’s played with your memories, Olivia,” he said quietly.
“Are you trying to tell me this is the reality of that moment? I remember differently. I certainly didn’t do that.”
