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It wasn’t. It was pure desperation, but in the moment it was the perfect solution.
He had those bikini panties off me in a flash, and then I tore open his shirt, sending buttons flying all over the room. I let my hands find his chest, caressing the cool flesh I found there. Casey had a beautiful chest, all lean muscle and alabaster skin.
I used to love to cuddle with him. He would wrap his body around mine and listen to my heartbeat. He could do it for hours, and I would feel safe and relaxed and loved.
I’d never told Kelsey how well Casey took care of me. I’d never shared that with her because I’d been trying to hide how much care I’d needed. I’d been hiding how much I’d needed her. I’d smiled and lied and resented her when she didn’t see through it.
“Don’t, baby. Stay with me,” he pleaded. “Just for a little while. Let it be us and nothing else in all the planes. We’re safe here.”
Safe. How long had it been since I’d felt safe? Loved? Like I belonged?
I practically ripped open his slacks, freeing his cock, and I could feel his magic starting to pulse through the room. Vampires fed off sex magic, and he hadn’t in a long time. I no longer questioned him. He wouldn’t lie to me about other women.
Had I lied to him? Had there been others that I couldn’t remember because my body had been used even as they discarded pieces of my soul?
I shoved the thought out of the way as I lowered myself onto his stiff cock. I was already wet, but I loved the feel of him stretching me wide. His hands came up, gripping my hips.
I fucked him, wanting to dominate and take back something that had been lost to me. But somewhere in the middle of all of it, I realized what had been lost was the softness I felt.
What I’d lost had been the ability to choose, to access a part of myself that only came alive around the people I loved.
“Livie? Are you okay?” Casey asked.
I realized I’d stopped, but we were still connected. And I wanted to stay that way. I didn’t want some quick orgasm to flash through me so I could go back to being his enemy again. I didn’t want some weird victory over him.
I leaned over, slowing the moment, reveling in it. I looked down at his gorgeous face, loving every plane and angle. I ran my hand over the softness of his hair and kissed him. Really kissed him, letting our mouths learn each other again.
At some point we turned over again and he was on top of me, and I loved how he pressed me down, how his hips started to move. It was softer this time, as though he wanted this moment to last.
“I missed you,” he whispered as he thrust inside me, filling me up, reminding me how good it had always been between us.
I wrapped myself around him and let go of everything but him. I floated on pleasure and comfort, on the warmth I always felt when I was near him.
When the orgasm hit, I let my head fall back and urged him on.
His fangs struck even as he fucked me hard and, for a moment, I was free.
Chapter Fourteen
Liv
I woke when the moon was rising. I’d woken up from a dreamless sleep this time, and I should have felt fabulous. I’d slept the whole “night,” and it had been forever since that had happened. I normally woke every few hours and took a tea to try to get back to sleep. Once more vampire beats most medicine or therapies. If you’ve got problems, fucking a vamp will solve a lot of them.
Casey had left me a note that he was going to meet with some experts about how the hounds would have gotten here and we’d talk later. There had also been a carafe of coffee waiting for me on the dresser along with the note.
Coffee was off-limits for the Profane. We drank the teas Myrddin offered us for healing.
I was not Profane anymore.
Profane didn’t wake up naked with fang marks on their necks and their bodies humming with satisfaction. At least not the way I’d done it. I’d actually been prim for a person who called herself Profane.
Or maybe I’d been given a name and conditioned to act in a certain way.
I sat there in the middle of the bed I’d shared with Casey the night before, and a shiver went through me. What I’d seen in my dreams had felt so real. More real than my memory of the event.
For the first time I had to consider I was wrong. Logic dictated that the scenario had to be on the table.
I was about to get up and get dressed when the there was a brisk knock on the door and then Kelsey was sweeping in, Eddie at her back. And a bunch of hellhounds.
