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And this was the tortured thought that broke his resolve. He caved and called Cairns, and that very weekend he and Meg both returned to Marble Lake Lodge to lend a hand with the chores, just like old times. Only it wasn’t like old times at all, because that magnetic pull between him and Meg was instantly back, as if it had never been gone at all. Which it hadn’t been, of course. Silas noticed how Meg took care to keep some physical space between them, standing apart from the boys at the rail of the upper deck after work, where the breeze tickled the tips of the conifers. The height, combined with the sea of forest below her, reminded Silas of a woman standing vigil at the bow of a ship.
“Let’s go to the lake,” he said abruptly, because the way she held herself apart—right here but as unreachable as ever—was almost as bad as her not being here at all. He grabbed snacks in the kitchen and led the charge to the Marble Lake boathouse, where he made it a point to rehash Danny’s tale of heroism from when they were kids.
Meg shot him a glance—gratitude? Shared guilt?—but Danny seemed unimpressed with Silas’s latest rendition, which now had Danny rowing both boats back to safety singlehandedly. Instead of chiming in or rolling his eyes like usual when Silas exaggerated, he mechanically skipped rocks from the lakeshore in moody silence, one after the other.
Had Meg said something to him?
But when he chanced breaking her unwritten arm’s-length-apart rule to ask as ambiguously as he could if anything was up, she suppliedin a flat whisper, eyes forward on the lake, “He’s been in a bad mood ever since I told him I am definitely attending Davis.”
Silas felt his face break wide open. “Wait, for real?” he breathed, basking in this slice of sunshine that had just wedged its way through the shadow of their confusion.
She nodded but then frowned. “I just hope I get enough grant money. My mom got the paperwork started late.”
But that was okay. Grants could be dealt with. Right? He was still smiling at her stupidly when Danny turned and frowned at them, and the indignation he’d felt when Meg had explained the reason for their argument on the Jeep ride flooded Silas again, popping the bubble of his happiness for Meg. How dared Danny make Meg’s college choices all about him? But Meg’s face pleaded with him to keep the peace, so the only recourse left to him was a lame “What exactly’s up your butt, Danny?” He’d makehimsay it, if Meg wouldn’t.
But Danny just tossed one more rock—it skipped an impressive seven times—and then said with a shrug, “Just bored, I guess.”
“What he means is, we can’t compete with the fire station.” Meg forced a laugh. “He’s been there pretty much nonstop the last few weeks.”
“Oh yeah?” At least that meant Meg hadn’t been spending all her free time with him, while Silas had been in self-exile.
“Guess it just felt like it was time to grow up, you know?” Danny looked smugger than Silas thought he had a right to. He was washing fire rigs in the vehicle bay, not pulling babies out of burning buildings.
But Silas could play by his terms. “That mean you don’t like gummy worms anymore, big man?” he said, meaner, really, than he’d intended, holding Danny’s share of the bag over his head.
Which had Danny lunging for them, knocking into Silas with a force that made him wonder exactly how long he’d been wanting to do that. Silas was in the water now, Danny glowering over him from the boathouse ramp, Meg yelling at them both. When Silas shoved the bagof gummy worms into Danny’s chest with a grunted“Here,”Danny threw it back at him. They landed in the lake, where they bobbed on the whitecaps erratically until Meg plucked them out.
“Knock it off,” she told them, and when Danny turned in protest, she added, “He’s only goading you to make me mad.”
She clamped her mouth shut immediately, but it was too late. The words hung heavily in the air between the three of them until Danny finally said, “Why would that make you mad?”
Meg opted for offense as the best defense. “Maybe because I don’t want to spend my last few weeks of the summer with you at each other’s throats!”
As a tension-breaker, it worked, though Danny’s mood remained dour. And Meg went right back to careful self-containment. Because she had decided to pretend this thing between them wasn’t happening? Or because she wanted to spend these last precious days in Silas’s company, however she could? He just didn’t know, which was why, when Danny insisted on returning to the swimming hole on the eve of their last Saturday of the summer, Silas didn’t argue. He didn’t even complain when they couldn’t find parking along the BLM road leading to the river, the place was so crowded. It wasn’t until they were hiking half a mile along the road that he broke.
“If we’re going to trek through the woods anyway, we might as well be up at the mines.” He chanced a glance at Meg, but she kept her gaze pointedly on the shoulder of the road.
“We’re almost there,” Danny said.
“How about tomorrow?” He tried again to catch Meg’s eye, just to fail again. “We can see if we can find some new ones. It’ll be like a celebration of the end of the summer.”
“I work at the station on Saturdays.” ThatI’m a grown-up and you’re a childlook had returned to Danny’s face.
“That doesn’t mean we should all just sit around. Sorry, but your schedule sucks, man.”
They’d arrived at the river, and Danny paused to look for a place to set their stuff. “Yeah,” he answered, carelessly enough that it didn’t sound careless at all. “Career goals can really get in the way of scavenger hunts or whatever.”
Only when they’reyourgoals,Silas wanted to shout. Just to get away from him, he leaped into the swimming hole, sandals and T-shirt and all. The shock of the cold didn’t manage to shake off his own sour mood, however. Neither did the sight of Jessica Howard standing over him when he broke the surface a few seconds later, dangling his towel out in front of her.
“Come and get it?” She laughed a bit uncertainly.
Silas hefted himself out of the water with a grunt, his shirt clinging to his stomach and dripping water as he climbed back up onto the rocks.
“Keep it,” he said.
Color rushed into her face, sending an instant kick of remorse through Silas. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he told her, as she just stood there with the towel, clearly trying not to let tears betray her.
“Danny said you’d think it was funny,” she managed. “You guys are always goofing off and stuff.”
