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“I was a lot less mature then, and I realize now that I cared too much about things that weren’t important. I lost sight of the one thing that really mattered to me. You. I’m willing to fight for our love, and to save that bond that I know we share.”
Despite Juniper’s attempts not to budge, she couldn’t stop herself from feeling emotional as she listened to Rowan try again. She could hear the sincerity and honesty in his words, and she knew, deep down, that he meant everything he was saying.
It was a lot for her to unravel, but she knew she couldn’t give him a straight answer. She still wasn’t sure if she even wanted to continue living in Moonwood with its unkind populace. She couldn’t deny the bond that they shared, but there were far too many variables involved.
His apology this time around seemed different from the other times. Given what they had shared the previous night, though, she wasn’t sure if it was his apology, or if it was her mind being clouded by the most beautiful sex she had ever had.
Whatever the case, now was not a good time for her to make decisions regarding her future with Rowan. She was too weak for him as it stood, and she couldn’t have this conversation until she could trust the decisions she would make.
Juniper shook her head. “I need some time, Rowan. I’m sorry. I hear you. I promise, I do. I don’t want to rush into any decisions, though. But I hear you.”
Rowan looked like he wanted to say more to her, to push the issue. Instead, he nodded and smiled a sad smile. “Alright then. Take as long as you need.”
Juniper felt a towering relief. She had been so sure that he could see the cracks in her resolve. If he had pushed, even just a little bit, chances were that he would have had her dead to rights.
She hadn’t expected him to be graceful with her, and she was grateful for it. She knew he had a thousand things on his mind to say, but he showed much more restraint than he had shown her so far.
And this made her slip one step closer to him, adding to a long list of positives in his favor. She wondered how much longer she would continue to act like she didn’t want him.
She blinked suddenly. Rowan had been waiting for a response from her for God knew how long, and she had zoned out. She had no idea how long the silence had stretched, but she couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t sound pedestrian.
She simply nodded and went to gather her clothes from the floor. She got dressed as calmly as she could manage, feeling a pair of golden eyes boring large holes into her naked skin the whole time.
***
The water from the shower was freezing, but that was exactly what Juniper needed. She felt a dull throb in her head and leaned against the wall for support.
When she closed her eyes, she saw Rowan. He was underneath her, eyes a bright, reddish gold. His tongue and jaw were more wolf than human, with sharp, scary teeth showing every time he growled with pleasure.
She had watched everything happen like a guest in her own body. She had felt both pleasure and fear as Rowan took her. He had the power to devour her, to rip out her throat in the throes of passion, as a female arachnid might devour her mate after a particularly satisfying climax.
Her heart had been in her mouth for hours as he fucked her. She had no words to describe the experience, but she could think of nothing more profane and vile.
He had taken her just as much as she had taken him, and as her vision finally turned black and she passed out, she could hear a wild, scary laugh coming from him. A laugh of utter satisfaction.
She shivered from remembrance and grabbed the wall for balance. She wondered how much of it Rowan would remember, but one thing was certain—it was going to be damn near impossible for her to act like she didn’t have feelings for him anymore.
Feeling as clean as she could be, she turned off the water and headed out of the bathroom. She put on warm clothes, a pair of joggers and a hoodie, then black tennis shoes. She needed some time to clear her mind, and there was nothing better for that than a quiet walk.
She kept her mind blank as she walked, trying not to think about anything in particular. She watched the birds as they migrated from tree to tree, and she enjoyed the view of the beautiful flowers that grew on the side of the road.
She thought about nothing and everything at the same time, content with fleeting thoughts that did not take root in her mind. A squirrel ran across the road, stopping to look at her with curious black eyes, before disappearing into the woods.
She walked without a destination for the most part, following where her legs led her mindlessly. She turned into a clearing after a while and looked up to see that she was approaching a house on the border of the town.
Her childhood home.
She felt an outpour of multiple emotions, both good and bad as she looked at the cottage. Very little had changed here since the day she had left, and painful nostalgia for a time so long ago twisted her guts.
She walked up and stopped just shy of the front porch, wondering whether to turn around and walk away. She should have. She knew that Elena would not want her here. For some reason, though, she remained rooted to the spot.
Right on cue, the front door swung open and her adopted sister shot out of the house like an arrow seeking a target to kill. Her face smoldered red as she looked down at Juniper, teeth bared to show exactly what she thought about Juniper showing her face.
“What do you think you’re doing here?” she spat, descending the front steps slowly. “How dare you show your face here? You’ve finally been acknowledged by the alpha, congratulations. So, did you come to rub our faces in it?”
Acknowledged by the alpha? What in the heavens is she talking about?Juniper thought about it for a moment, but discarded it for later. Now was not the time for her to process the ravings of her crazy sister.
“No, I didn’t come here for any of that,” Juniper replied instead. She held out her hands placatingly, walking backward and away from her sister.
