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“I just wanted to go help that demon. We can now. We can help people now and make sure—do you know how relieved he was?” I rasped, tears falling freely. “There was someone finally that he could turn to. We’ve never had that. He had someone on his side. I wanted the win. Can’t I just ever have the win?”
“You get them. We’ve had a lot lately,” he reminded me. “We got another ten demons out yesterday, right? Some young ones that have a whole future in front of them now. Several were thrilled at the idea of cleaning the clubs during off hours and just having somewhere safe, learn how to use their powers.”
I nodded as he talked and listed the wins we’d had even over the past couple of days. It took a few minutes of him talking to settle me fully, but then I felt like I had a grasp again.
“You’re an asshole,” I told Phillip as I plopped on the chair at the kitchen table. “Seriously, what is it with you assholes just saying whatever…” I shook my head and rubbed my forehead until it hurt. “I can’t have you sign an NDA. You can’t as the director of ISLE, but know if you sharethis, poke at it or—I don’t care that you’re the director of ISLE, I’ll gut you.”
“It could risk people she loves if you run your mouth about her having panic attacks or something being off with her,” Mason defended when he sensed whatever Phillip was feeling… But I didn’t. He nodded when I glanced at him. “I’m blocking him.”
“And if you tell anyone what you think you know about him, I will kill you. I promised him my protection. You’re here because you and Dylan can’t fucking behave, and I have to get personal to fix that. That’s notmy fault. You shouldn’t have—”
“You’re right, okay?” Phillip snapped, adjusting his neck. “I was a jerk. I’m sorry. What the hell is going on? Seriously? I’m missing—this is not what Dylan—he blew up that you were running again because he messed up and threw our sex in his face and more.”
I couldn’t make my mouth work before looking at Mason. “You heard what we last said to each other. I know I’m emotionally stunted but is that—”
“He was falling in love and you weren’t, Jasmine,” Mason muttered. “I don’t know if he spun out but—Phillip would know if Dylan was lying to him. No, that’s not what happened. We both know that we can be in bad spots and see things other than they are.”
It annoyed me that somehow Dylan was the one in a bad spot after doing damage to me. I glanced at Phillip. “Your word this stays between us?”
“Can I talk to Dylan about it?” he hedged. “He’s not in a good space.”
“No, he can’t keep his mouth shut either,” I snapped. “A lot of this stems from that!”
“He can’t give Dylan any new information,” Mason suggested. “Let him correct Dylan’s wrong ideas. Maybe that can settle this crazy and Dylan can just accept things are over.” He sighed when Phillip snorted.
And I got annoyed again. I pulled out my phone and unlocked it, pulling up our messages and tossing my phone to Phillip. “For someone saying he loves me or whatever, you might want to look at the lack of sayinganythingbefore you keep thinking I’m the problem here.”
He easily caught it and had about the same reaction as Aidan and the others.
“No, she didn’t delete anything off, so don’t even say it,” Mason muttered. “She blocked him after sending that text because it was what she needed.”
“I’m so lost,” Phillip sighed as he set my phone on the table and sat. “What is going on?” He growled when I didn’t answer. “Yes, I promise, okay? I’m not trying to hurt you. I was an asshole because one of my oldest friends and right hand is a mess when I need him to help me.”
I wasn’t sure really how to start, and then I just went with being blunt, gesturing to where Mason and I had been on the floor. “I had a breakdown. Two actually. Dylan doesn’t know. He wasn’t here for them. It wasn’t over him, but the situation with him certainly didn’t help.”
“I wouldn’t call it two, more like one, but it got paused because of your always diving into battle instead of handling your own health,” Mason defended. “You were just starting to recover when it spun out again. It’s all the same breakdown.”
I gave him a soft smile. “Thanks for defending my honor that the score is really only one, not two.”
“It’s not a scoreboard but so you understand that it will keep happening if you don’t take better care of yourself,” he warned, his voice a bit hard… But not for me.
“What caused the breakup?” Phillip asked.
I shrugged. “Dylan got the full packet on me and didn’t react well. He was an asshole and then didn’t bother to apologize or handle it.” I told him about him trying to catch me and then making things worse when he finally did after we caught the murder and what happened after.
“To be fair, that was the craziest situation ever,” Phillip muttered. “Even I was asked if people were joking that the guy walked right in before you opened.”
“We did too,” I growled. “We admitted we weren’t sure. I was careful with my words, and I didn’t say the guy confessed. We admitted that it all seemed hinky, but we still called.Immediately, he just called me a liar, saying I was a liar, and his desires were he wished he’d picked someone with better morals.
“I’m not giving him more ammo that I had a mental breakdown but knowing that, doyouthink that’s someone healthy for me to be with?” I nodded when Phillip winced. “And I never lied to him. I’ve even said it to you that there’s more that I hide. I have to. I protect people. You don’t fucking tell me everything either.So what?There’s tons I don’t know about Dylan too!”
I exploded on Dylan’s friend since he wasn’t there and we never got the real breakup fight. I yelled at Phillip that Dylan pressured me into going out, saying it would protect me and the people who would get hurt. And I forgave him a lot and thought his feelings were real because he took a bullet for me and worried about me, but guys who abuse their partners love them too.
Plus, he never gave me what I asked for. I asked for time or space, and he’dsayhe’d give it, but he wouldn’t, making comments about me running when I asked for it again because he hadn’t given it to me the first fucking time. It wasn’t my fault that things were easy with the twins or Mason because they listened to me. I went to them because they didn’t push me.
I had so much on my shoulders and they weren’t selfish with me and I did my best with them. Dylan wanted everything the way he wanted it, when he wanted it, and to boast he got it. That wasn’t love to me. That wasn’t a love I wanted, and I was allowed to say that without being the bad guy.
“Feel better now?” Phillip asked when I was finally done.
