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He stares at us. “What the actual fuck?”
CHAPTER29
JOEL
Isnatch my hand back from Anna like I’m touching hot coals, but it’s too late. Even if Ben hadn’t seen us holding hands, the way we’re sitting guiltily opposite each other at a table that’s obviously set up for date night is a giveaway.
We’re all statues for what feels like minutes, fixed in place like we’re all trying to pretend this isn’t happening.
Ben drops his bag on the floor. The thump echoes uncomfortably off the walls. “Anna, what the hell are you doing here?”
“Hey, Ben,” she says awkwardly.
“You’ve never, ever come to visit, but you’re here now withhim?” Ben’s voice is loud and cold as he makes assumptions about what’s been going on.
I wish we could deny it, but his assumptions are probably right. We have been having a lot of sex in his bed and we haven’t washed the sheets yet. I have a reputation after all, even if I wish I didn’t, and Ben has scraped me up off the floor and sorted out my disasters so many times I’ve lost count. I should be more grateful to him.
He’s be wrong if he’s assuming I don’t love Anna, though. Because I really, really do, to an almost embarrassing degree.
“Ben, please,” says Anna, standing up. “It’s not what it looks like. I can explain.”
“I’m sure you can,” he thunders.
Anna puffs up and suddenly I can see the family resemblance of stubbornness all too well. They both have the same glint in their eyes, that same tilt of the head, the same tone of voice which could make the kindest words sound like the worst thing in the world.
“Yeah, actually, I can. I didn’t come here for Joel, it just… happened,” she trails off, dropping her act of defiance.
Ben shakes his head and walks past her, marching up to me with the angriest face I have ever seen on him. The creases in his forehead are deep valleys. He’s actually going red.
This is bad.
“I can’t believe you’ve dragged my sister into your bullshit!” he yells. I get to my feet too, not wanting to have an argument with someone towering over me.
“Hey, dude, no one did any dragging. You really think I lured her here? For what, to piss you off while I was staying over?” I try to use a calm, level tone but I think it just makes things worse.
The worst bit is, I totally get why he’s mad. It’s not like I don’t have form for dating people for two weeks before dropping them. Two weeks is a long time for me. Two nights is about average.
This has only been a week, but already I don’t want to let it go because it’s been the best week ever. Ben’s right to assume I’ve been an inconstant bastard because I am. But he’s wrong to assume that Anna would ever be dumb or naïve enough to fall for someone like me without a reason.
Besides, if I ever let her down, she wouldn’t need anyone else to defend her. She can look after herself.
“I know exactly what you’re like, Joel Lockhart.” He takes another step towards me and for a second I think he’s actually going to deck me. I glance at his fist nervously. “All you do is mess around and act like the whole world is yours for the taking. You’ll never change.”
That feels almost as bad as a punch.
“Come on, dude. That’s not fair.”
“Not fair?! You want to know what’s not fair? I’ve been busting my ass in Japan for you while you’ve been lounging about inmyhouse — yeah, everyone in the whole goddamn world has seen your naked ass now. For the last month, I’d been making real connections, but this week it’s been all about trying to persuade them not to back out altogether because they think you’re a reckless, irresponsible idiot!”
I have nothing to say to that. My lips tremble as I try to form any sort of words at all. The rest of the world still knows old Joel.
This week has been like going to some weird remote monastery and learning all the chants and ways to live a better life, and now I’ve come home and I’m a better person but everyone still looks at me and sees gets-his-ass-out-in-a-casino Joel.
Guess I was stupid to think they might think otherwise.
“Ben, calm down,” says Anna, folding her arms and sighing behind us.
He wheels round to face her. “I’m just worried for you, okay? You have no idea what he’s like. You have no idea how much bullshit I’ve had to cover up for in the time we’ve been working together.”
