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In fairness, I think I’d get pretty sick of all Joel’s stunts too, but still. I’m his sister. We haven’t rowed like that since we were teenagers.
It was over the same thing then, too. He wanted to protect me. I told him I could look after myself. He got mad with me for not letting him help, and I got mad at him for imposing. It’s like we’ve always been at slight tangents, neither one of us quite able to see what the other really needs.
I kind of feel like I’ve lost him forever now.
I’ve definitely lost Joel forever. Ben will see to that. Because what I really need is my overprotective brother running my life.
Ugh!
I swore I wasn’t going to cry over stupid men anymore, that they weren’t worth my tears. They’re not. I still woke up surrounded by tissues and eyes tired and heavy from crying myself to sleep. This isn’t exactly a man breaking my heart by leaving me.
This is my idiot brother making decisions for me without listening to a word I’m saying.
In frustration, I throw my pillow at the wall. It makes a sad thump as it bounces off and lands back on the bed. If I were slightly more energetic, I’d be smashing stuff.
My stomach rumbles again and actually hurts. I have to go and get food. But I know for a fact that Ben’s out there. It’s his house and I’ve heard him wandering about.
Why did I ever think coming here was a good idea?
I stand behind the closed door for a solid minute, steeling myself for the confrontation.
I can do this.
Carefully, I open the guest-room door and walk out. I keep my head held high and don’t look at Ben at all. He’s sat on the sofa, reading. He doesn’t acknowledge me either, which is fine. I’d rather not speak to him at all.
Feeling sorry for myself, I grab a bowl and dump some of Joel’s cereal into it. I don’t really like cereal and especially not the sickly-sweet stuff Joel kept buying, but I’m sad and I want to think about him, so I splash some milk on top and force myself to start eating. Unsurprisingly, I don’t like it.
Ben gets up from the sofa before I’ve finished and comes into the kitchen. I don’t even look at him.
He shoves a coffee pod into his machine and the sound of it brewing fills the silence. I keep eating, trying not to grimace.
“Do you want one?” he asks, trying to hold out an olive branch.
I’m not interested in his peace, though. “No thanks. I don’t like your flavors.”
The machine splutters as it pours steaming coffee into his mug, a big, gray striped one. I can be strong enough in my silence not to comment on his décor choices. I can.
He picks up his mug and I think he’s going to go back to the sofa, but instead he comes and sits next to me. I stiffen, wishing I hadn’t poured so much cereal. I’m hungry, but I don’t know if I’m that hungry.
Ben takes a sip. “I’m sorry, An.”
I blink in surprise. “Are you?”
“Yes,” he says, like all the fury from last night has faded and he’s the gentle, kind brother I know again. “I am. Last night… I was tired, and I wasn’t expecting to find you here. I thought I was going to come home to Joel having left the place a wreck.”
“Not flirting with your sister,” I say, squeezing my lips together to stop myself from smiling.
“Exactly. He’s not a great guy to get tangled with. You know that, right? He’s one of the most selfish people I’ve ever met, and I’m saying that as his best friend.”
“I know. But he cooked last night.”
“What?” snorts Ben, putting his mug down heavily. I let out a chuckle, the tension seeping away. No matter how much I’d love to stay angry, I can’t.
“He did nearly burn your place down last Tuesday, but last night was all his own work.”
“With the help of Mr. McMac I assume?” he says, grinning. That’s always been his favorite brand of cheese. Ben is nothing if not reliable.
I’ve been so stupid for pretending I don’t need him.
