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“I guess that’s why I have a giant hole in my window too?”
Shit, I totally forgot about that. Joel and his stupid break-in attempt. “Yeah…” I say. “He broke it after I took the spare key. He promised to pay for it all, though.”
“Damn right he’s going to. What did he do, put his fist through it?”
I nod and Ben lets out an incredulous, bellowing laugh before pressing his hands to his face. I can’t help but laugh too, and suddenly it feels like we’re teenagers and up to mischief again.
As our laughter fades, he looks at me and says, “What’s going on with you, Anna? Why are you here?”
“I’ve been kicked out,” I tell him, not seeing the point of lying. There’s no point in being proud now. I have nowhere else to go. “I’m sorry. I should have said instead of just showing up, but I really thought I could be gone before you came back and—”
“Whoa, whoa,” says Ben, squeezing my shoulder like he’s trying to soothe a worried horse. “You got kicked out by Mariana?”
I shake my head. “Not exactly. She took all my money and left the country. I’ve lost everything.” I laugh bitterly.
“God, Anna, I’m so sorry. I’m glad you came here.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, of course. You can stay any time. In fact, I’d love to see you more.”
“Really?” I tip the last of the milk from my bowl into my mouth, trying to cover my embarrassment that Ben would have helped all along if I had asked. I feel like I’m being taught a lesson, and I think I want to learn it.
“Of course,” he says again, making us sound like echoes. “I never understood why you cut us all out. It’s like one day you were my baby sister, and the next a stranger. Like, what did I do wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say, rolling my eyes. “And that’s the problem. You’re just too perfect. Ben gets perfect grades, Ben gets a fancy college degree, Ben gets an awesome job and travels the world and makes a shit ton of cash.”
“And?”
He looks so genuinely confused at my bitterness, frowning like he’s trying to solve a puzzle. Of course being perfect, it’s probably hard for him to see what it’s like to live under that shadow, but then again, maybe he really doesn’t see me as worse for not being a smart and funny and good as him. Maybe Joel was right all along.
“And, well… like, I’m not. I barely graduated high school and now I’ve lost all my money to a conwoman who I though was my friend. I’m not exactly doing great, am I?”
His frown deepens and I can’t bear to look so I stare into the bowl, spinning the spoon in circles in the middle.
“And you think I’m doing great?” he asks.
It feels like a trick question. “Yeah, obviously. You work for one of the richest families in Olympus City. What part of that isn’t great?”
“Anna, I work all the time and I have no friends. Except Joel, who let’s be honest, isn’t the most reliable guy. Yeah, the travel perks are good and I like my job, but I have no life outside it. All I am is what people expect me to be.”
“At least you’re not the world’s biggest disappointment,” I mutter, not quite ready to listen to his voice of reason. I’m moping and I’m his little sister. I’m allowed to.
“You’re not a disappointment. You never have been, not to me. God, is that why you never speak to me? Because you think I’m going to judge you for not being me?”
When he puts it like that, it sounds really dumb.
“Well, like. No. But, yeah, I guess. It’s just like, you have all these cool things and you’re so smart and I’m struggling to do my best which isn’t even very good anyway.”
“Hey, don’t talk like that. You want to know a secret?”
He’s talking to me like I’m ten years old and he’s my wise, older brother. Which he is, I just haven’t heard him use this tone in a long, long time. Not since we were much younger and I used to look at him like he was the sun. He used to be the one who always knew everything to me. My confidant and friend.
What happened to us?
Narrowing my eyes, I ask, “What?”
“I’ve always felt like kind of a loser compared to you too.”
