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I frown hard at that. Surely he’s just teasing me. There’s no way that Ben has ever compared himself to me and thought I was doing better.
I cross my arms grumpily. “Don’t torment me.”
“I’m really not. Yes, I have a degree and a great job.” I raise my eyebrow as high as I can make it go. “But,” he continues, “You work so hard to be who you are. You literally left home at seventeen and you’ve never gone back. You’ve worked and worked and you’re so close to being a hit. I don’t have that kind of determination in me. Mom and Dad paid for college, Joel got me a job. I was just lucky. And you’ve just hit a bump in the road. You’ll get there. And if you’ll actually let me, I’ll always be here for you, An.”
I can’t hold it back anymore, so I just let the tears go. I swear, after this week I am never crying again. I’ve done more than enough of that lately.
It’s time to get my life back together.
I get up and wrap my arms around Ben, resting my head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” I mumble.
He doesn’t say a word, just reaches round awkwardly to pay me on the head. Quietly, I add, “Please forgive Joel. He didn’t do anything wrong. Me being here was an accident and he didn’t make me do anything. It was just a bit of fun.”
Ben grumbles unhappily. “Stay away from him, Anna. Please. For me. I’ve seen him use so many people, and I just don’t want you to get hurt. You understand that, right?”
I’m glad Ben can’t see my face from where I’ve buried it into his shirt, soaking it with my tears. “Yeah,” I lie. I don’t want to upset him again already after we’ve just made up. He means a lot to me and I don’t think I can lose him again.
But the truth is, I don’t agree with him. Ben doesn’t own me and I just want Joel. I really liked him.
CHAPTER31
JOEL
What they don’t tell you about showing up for work every day and doing work at work for the normal number of hours, is that you get so tired. I have literally never felt this exhausted in my life.
It’s only been a week since Ben kicked me out, but already I feel like I’m someone totally different. I’ve barely had a drink. I haven’t been out. I haven’t even stayed up past midnight eating popcorn and playing video games because I’ve just been so damn tired. Using your brain really takes it out of you.
“Bye, Joel,” says Ingrid as she walks past my office to leave. She throws me a wink when I catch her eyes. I don’t react.
Once, I would have chased her down and more if I’d been in the right mood. But I wasn’t lying to Anna. I would never cheat on her. And as long as I can’t get her off my mind, I won’t betray her trust.
Not that I’ve spoken to her in a week. It’s been one of the longest weeks of my life.
I glance at my watch. It’s past five now and if Ingrid’s gone, that means everyone else must have left too. She’s always the last one out. I think she secretly has a work sex fantasy.
Anyway, I might be new Joel, but I’m not a workaholic. I finish working on the row of my spreadsheet, then save it and turn off the computer. New Joel still needs his personal time, even if that’s just wandering half-naked around my apartment eating chips and watching TV.
Old habits don’t go away, as they say.
I flick off the lights as I go, locking every door as I go through it. I don’t want it to be my fault if we get broken into. I hop into the elevator and wait for it to drop me down to the first floor. It has an unpleasant ding when it arrives, but I’m not taking five flights of stairs instead.
Reception is deserted too, except for the desk manager, who seems to be packing up to go too. “Night, Martin,” I call as I pass.
“See you,” he says without looking up.
I’m just about to hit the revolving door when the unmistakable figure of my father looms into view. “Joel,” he says, stopping me in my tracks. “It’s good to see you.”
“Hey, Dad,” I say carefully. Why is he cornering me at work? Doesn’t he trust me after all?
What have I done wrong now?
“How has your week been? You’re looking very smart.”
I finally dug out some of the suits Dad got me years ago from the back of my closet and dusted them off. I actually look damn fine in them, even if I refuse to wear a tie or anything but sneakers. I’m a cool boss, not an old-fashioned one.
“It’s been okay. Busy. We’re getting ready to push updates globally, so everyone’s been working really hard on that.” He nods in what looks like approval, though I can’t be sure. It’s not something I’ve seen that often. Awkwardly, I add, “How’s your week gone?”
“Very well,” he says with a smile. “Keep up the good work, son.”
