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With hands that feel numb from the weight of what just happened, I pull my pants up and button them. My dress shirt is useless, as all the buttons are ripped off, so I toss it in the trash. I put my undershirt back on, then start to clean the mess I made when I swiped everything from my desk.
As I start grabbing papers and file folders, something black catches my eye. Reaching over, I pull out the lacy underwear Benjamin had on. How they got over to this side of the desk is anyone’s guess, but I’m not mad about it. Hoping I’m not being a creeper, I slide them into my pocket, wanting to have a memory of tonight, something tangible. Because it’ll never happen again.
Chapter 3
Benji
IstillcringewhenI think about what happened over a week ago. In no world would I have imagined that I would kiss Mr. Stewart, let alone have him fuck me on his desk. Can I wake up now? Because this has to be a bad dream.
Although, how he made me feel was anything but a nightmare. When his lips touched mine, I felt complete. I felt like I found my other half. Like the world was out of whack before, and in that moment it was righted. My heart raced from the intensity of it, but my mind cleared with just one phrase dancing around:my alpha.
I’m not sure if he felt it too, but it was too much for me to walk away from. I had to feel him inside me, I needed him to breed me and make me his.
Fuck! I put my head in my hands, trying to sort out my confusing feelings. I don’t like Mr. Stewart. He’s a workaholic pain in my ass that doesn’t have a kind word to say to me. In fact, when he kissed me, it was the first time he’s touched me. Ever. I tried to shake his hand when Mr. Matthews introduced us, but he looked down his nose at me and told me to hurry up helping my old boss to his car so we could get started.
Maybe if he had shaken my hand then, we would have found out we were fated mates.
Though, the signs were there. The butterflies I felt when he was around, how his scent called to me, how—even when I tried to stop it—my heart would trip over itself to gallop when he barked an order at me.
Gods, I am an idiot.
Since we fucked, I’ve been trying to keep my distance. It’s hard when we work so closely, but I’ve done my best. If I don’t have to talk to him, I don’t. When I do, I stay as far from him as possible, keeping my eyes down so I don’t stare at his mouth.
Oh Gods, his mouth. The way he kissed me set my soul ablaze. I’ve never been kissed so thoroughly in all my years and I want more.
No. No, I don’t. No more. It can’t happen again.
Even if he wanted to give it a go, I can’t do that to him. It’ll be a few more days until I find out for sure, but I don’t think I’ll be able to have kids. Even though any child I adopt will be wholeheartedly mine, he might not feel the same way. He may want to watch my belly grow large with his baby after he breeds me and what if I can’t give him that? If I can’t give him babies of his own … he may not want me. I won’t let fate dictate who I should be with when I can’t give them what they want.
Sighing, I lift my eyes to see an older omega staring at me with a small smile on his lips. “I’m so sorry,” I say, sitting up straight in my chair. “Do you have an appointment with Mr. Stewart?”
“Yes,” the tiny, older omega says. “Maximus Pooler. I’m a little early.”
I open my schedule and check his appointment time. “Yeah, by about ten minutes. You can have a seat and I’ll let Mr. Stewart know you’ve arrived.” I feel my cheeks heat when I say his name. I’m not sure why. It’s like my body tingles when I feel any part of his name cross my lips.
The omega—Mr. Pooler—tilts his head and studies me. “Is he yours?”
“What?” I ask, voice going all high pitched. “No. No. He’s just my boss.”
Giving me a knowing grin, he nods and has a seat in one of the two chairs in my office. I walk over to Mr. Stewart’s door —I really should start thinking of him as Rome since he fucked me so good in his office—to let him know his appointment arrived.
Thankfully, he’s focused on his computer, so he doesn’t meet my eyes when he tells me to send him in. I take the short few seconds to study him and my heart rate picks up and my skin prickles, wanting to be close to my alpha, but knowing that’s not to be. But I can look for a second.
His lips are turned down in frown, like what he’s seeing on his monitor is making him unhappy, but I can remember what they felt like on mine and on the skin of my neck. My body thrums when I think about how I wanted Rome to leave his mark on me. I thought he was, as he was biting against the skin where his mark would bleed into my skin, leaving a permanent imprint there. When he moved his lips, I almost begged him to mark me, but I forced myself not to. If he marked me, he’d be stuck with me and I can’t have his disappointment in me because of my infertility on my conscience.
I’m not sure why, but the dip in his eyebrows is amazingly sexy, a sign of his seriousness, even though that always pisses me off. He’s too serious. Like he doesn’t have fun. I could be fun for him. I think I’m a lot of fun. Pulling him out of his grumpy state would—
Cutting off my inner monologue, I step away from his door and walk on shaky legs back to my desk. I sit down heavily, blowing out a shuddering breath.
“Young omega,” Mr. Pooler gets my attention with a wave of his hand. I look at him with a smile, leaning forward on my elbows. “My alpha is my fated mate, so I know the look.”
My eyes bug out and I sit back, dropping my hands to my lap. “Umm … no. I uh …”
He doesn’t let me finish. “I’ve been around for … far longer than I care to admit.” He smooths his brown hair back and grins at me. “If you find the fabled fated mate, you hold on to them. They’ll be the best thing to happen to you.”
“I’m okay by myself but thank you.”
“Oh, you will complement him too. Even better than he would imagine. Don’t let—”
