AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It’s not fair to him, I know, but I can’t stop my temper from rising. “Then when?” I practically bellow, standing so abruptly, my chair flies back. An over-the-top reaction, but I can’t stop it. It’s not fair to me that he won’t open up to me. I’m feeling vulnerable too. Benjamin looks at me with wide eyes, then they turn fiery as I continue to shout. “We need to talk and you keep running from me!”
“Maybe I don’t want to fucking talk right now, did you think about that? Or did you just think about yourself and getting your dick wet again?” Before I can respond, Benjamin takes a deep, calming breath, then says, “I don’t have time for this. You don’t pay me enough to corner me and try to force me to talk to you. WhenI’mready, I’ll let you know. Not everything is about you.”
With that, he slams the door, leaving me standing at my desk like an idiot. Groaning, I pull my chair back and sit down. What the fuck is wrong with me? I could have asked when he would be ready or even tell him to come to me when he was. He also could have given me a timeframe for when we could talk. He has to be hurting and just as lost as I am. Fuck, this is a mess.
Deciding I’ve had enough of being at work—at this desk where I can practically smell Benjamin’s slick—I shut down my computer and pull out my phone, calling up my best friend. If he can get away from his boyfriend for a few hours, I need someone to talk to me about what the fuck is going on with me.
He tells me he’ll meet me at our favorite bar in downtown Fair Falls called Winchesters, a bar we tend to visit when we have some heavy shit going on. Miles, my best friend, must know that because he doesn’t hesitate to agree.
Miles is there before me, my drinks in the empty space in front of him. Sliding into the booth, I give him a nod and down my shots quickly and he raises his eyebrows. “Tough day?”
“Tough week.” Miles is a teacher, so he understands stress. But not mate stress. He and his boyfriend aren’t fated, but they are hopelessly in love and it happened rather quickly. Lucky bastard.
After I order my second round of shots and a beer, he raises an eyebrow and asks, “What’s up?”
Rubbing the back of my neck, I say, “Don’t laugh.” He gives me a deadpan look and I grin for a brief moment. “My assistant and I had sex.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “The one you hate?”
“I don’t hate him,” I say in an exasperated tone. “I just … it’s complicated.”
“Uncomplicate it. Give me the facts.”
“I touched him and my world settled on its axis. You know what that means.”
Miles’s mouth drops open. Once more, he asks, “Your assistant that you hate?”
“I don’t hate him,” I growl, throwing a shot back. “I rather like him. Covering up my hurt with anger.”
Again, Miles’s mouth drops open and he stares. Shaking my head, I take a swig of my beer. Why did I just blab that to Miles? I told him I thought Benjamin was attractive, but never thought I’d feel more than physical. Slowly, he started getting under my skin. Before I knew it, I had more feelings for my infuriating assistant than I cared to admit. With him being the omega for me, the one that was born to be mine, I couldn’t stop the torrent of emotion and feelings that overcame me.
That’s part of the reason I snapped at Benjamin. He won’t talk to me or tell me how he feels. I recognize I cornered him, trying to force him to talk when I was ready. I should have asked, but I wanted things my way.
One of the reasons my ex left me. He said I was too overbearing and stubborn, never listening to him when he wanted something. Maybe I’m pushing Benjamin like that. Maybe I need to learn from my mistakes instead of repeating them.
“Rome!” My best friend calls my name and I jump, snapping me out of my daze. “What were you thinking about?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit.” I narrow my eyes at him, used to him calling me on my shit. “You want him. Why not tell him that? He’s not Levi, you know. He’s obviously what destiny wants you to have.”
“Yeah? Then why is he running from me?”
Miles shrugs, taking a swig of his beer. “Couldn’t tell you. But if it were my mate, I’d go after him and find out. What are you waiting on?”
“A sign, obviously.”
Stretching his arms out, Miles pulls in a deep breath and in an exaggerated voice, he says, “I am your sign, my son.”
Balling up a napkin, I throw it at him, making him snicker. “Yeah, thanks.” Getting serious, I put my elbows on the table. “I just, I don’t know, man. What do I have to offer him? I’m still feeling raw from Levi, even though it was years ago. I have baggage.” Miles nods in understanding. “Am I ready to dump that on him? Should I? Fated mates don’t have to be together.” Unbidden, more words slip from my mouth. “Even thoughnotbeing with him is killing me.”
It really is. For the past week and a half, when I’m not in Benjamin’s presence, I feel ill. My chest aches and my breathing always feels like it’s too fast. Gods, it feels like I’m suffocating. I wish he would just let me take care of him. Or for him to take care of me. He can take care of me by letting me be his.
Dammit, this is hard.
“Rome!” Miles calls me again. I snap my head up to him. “Listen, I can’t help you. The only person that can help is your hated assistant.” I glare at him, but Miles pays it no mind. “Try to talk to him. It’ll do you both some good.”
Knowing he’s right, I agree. “I know. But you know me, Miles. I can’t … I’m not soft. Or nurturing. All the things an alpha needs to be for his mate. All the things Levi said I wasn’t.”
