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But I know as I sit up and then get to my feet that I can repeat these words as many times as I like.
It won’t change what I want. What my body wants.
The moon is higher in the sky when I walk out of the cave and head back up to the trail to gather my clothes.
I hear the scurrying of small creatures throughout the forest around me as I walk. I know that the animals that usually reside in the forest are staying away from me and the hideout because of the wolves.
One thing the pack is good for is natural protection.
I am grateful for the protection of the pack, not for the first time.
I pass several ancient trees that I am sure store spirits inside them when something reaches out from behind a tree and grabs me.
I let out a small scream, but even though my scream may be quiet, it still echoes around the space.
I cannot really see who has grabbed me, but I kick and flail my arms as I try to get away from whoever they are.
But then I am pushed up against a tree, and I know exactly who it is.
My body tingles as I smell Kian’s scent wafting around me. Salty, musky, heady. I arch my back slightly, and my naked chest rubs against his.
I still cannot see him properly, but I don’t miss the low groan that he lets out. For some reason, this gives me a sense of satisfaction, although I don’t know why.
“It’s me.” He clears his throat and pulls me out of the darkness of the tree cover.
The moonlight is still not bright enough to illuminate our features completely, but I can see Kian better now.
“What are you doing?” I murmur as a thousand thoughts cross my mind.
He doesn’t reply but just stares down at me. I watch as his brow furrows, as though he is perplexed by something.
I don’t know what to do or say. All I know is that my body has become unfrozen. Instead, my body is warm like before.
I feel like I’m about to melt into his arms.
The sensation – an explosion of pure, pleasurable warmth spreading throughout my body – is foreign and almost frightening to me.
Is this normal? Is this what heat feels like?I think wonderingly to myself as I stare up into Kian’s eyes.
He drops my arm but places both of his large hands on my waist.
My skin burns where he touches me, and I force myself to remain clear-headed before I swoon from the heat of it all. “What are you doing?” I gasp the words, but my voice is no louder than the previous murmur.
He still doesn’t say anything but continues to stare at me. I wonder how much longer we can stand like this before I do something that I am not sure I understand.
All I want is to do what I have watched the wolves do for years. Even though I have never comprehended the implications of what they were doing.
How can I feel this way about an orc? I shudder as he strokes my skin with his thumbs. The feel of it is soothing and exciting at the same time.
And I know that if he doesn’t let go soon, I’ll become addicted to it, to him, and I’ll never be able to let go.
I have lived without close human contact for so long. I have become almost feral, living on my own. But this, this might destroy the life I have built with the wolves.
Again, I speak with desperation in my voice. “What are you doing?”
15
KIAN
