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Her body pressed against mine is bliss, and I don’t think I have ever experienced anything like this before.
Not in this lifetime, and not in the lifetime that I have left behind.
That lifetime, while it may still exist, has fallen away. The only lifetime that matters is the one with Amara in it.
She groans into my mouth, and I lift her into my arms, cupping her rounded butt and reveling in the feel of her skin against mine.
I am sent over the edge when she wraps her legs around my waist, and I am, again, surprised by her strength.
Of course, she is strong. Who else would be chosen for an orc like you?
16
AMARA
His lips press against mine. His hands are on my back, and mine are cupping his cheeks. This, I realize, is what love feels like. This is what it means to want someone with your whole self, no matter what comes of it.
I suspected some of the other wolves might have found what we humans would call love, but I was never sure that I would ever experience it myself. It isn’t exactly the same for humans and animals, though there are parallels. A female wolf is only fertile for a few days, and never when they are still in the pack they were born to. But when they go into heat, it seems like a burning need, a sudden demand from the whole of their body.
But I’m a human. Yes, I was raised by the wolves. Yes, I’ve earned myself a place in the pack, but did that mean I would ever experience love like wolves? Passionate, consuming, desperate? Or was I doomed to some lesser love, or to never love at all?
It was a thought that had sometimes disturbed me, but now it was answered. If what I felt in this moment for Kian, the want I was entirely filled with, wasn’t wolf love, then I didn’t need it. This was all the love I would ever need, and I could feel in the way he touched and held me that he returned it.
I jumped up and wrapped my arms and legs around his body, pulling myself tight against him. I could feel a firmness in between his legs, and his scent was full of pheromones and arousal.
He lifts his lips away from mine. “Well, aren’t you enthusiastic?”
“I love you,” I whisper.
I can tell he’s startled by me saying that, but it’s the truth of what I feel right now. I love him, and I never want that to change.
“You live on your own out here, don’t you?” he asks. “I mean, other than all the wolves.”
He clearly doesn’t understand my connection with the wolves, but I nod anyway. “You don’t understand, though. It’s not just because you’re the first humanoid I’ve spent time with in a while. I know what I feel.”
He strokes my face gently with the outside of his fingers. “Have you ever had sex before? Or kissed, or any of this?”
He’s trying to pretend that he doesn’t feel what I’m feeling, but I can smell it on him. Desire and lust, and yes, something deeper are all over him. I’ve seen the way he looks at me. I know he feels what I’m feeling right now.
“Yes,” I say, and I’m not sure if he can tell that I’m lying. “But only casually. Not with someone I love.”
I tighten my legs and my arms, laying my face on his chest. He holds me against him and runs his hand down my back.
“I want you, too,” he whispers back. “But not here. For our first time, you don’t want to do it against a tree. Let’s go back to the cabin.”
He doesn’t say he doubts me, but I wonder if he does. It was a silly lie to tell. What difference would it make anyway? I just don’t want him to think that he has to care for me. Then again, I’ve been caring for him for days. Maybe he wants that.
The very fact that he cares about where we have sex warms me. Unlike wolves, everything I’ve heard about orcs suggests they’re about as far away from mating for life as you can be. They’re used to fucking on their one night off from duty, with marching orders for the morning. But he’s not treating me like that, and he wants me to know it, too.
I jump down from him, back onto the ground. “If you want to. But I can be happy just about anywhere.”
“It’s not about what you can do,” he tells me, letting his hand rest on my waist. “I want this to be special for you.”
“And for you?” I ask.
He smiles happily. “Oh, yes. And for me, too.”
Before I even realize what he’s doing, he picks me up off the ground, and I find myself relaxing in his arms. He begins walking the both of us toward the hideout, the cabin I use for my hunting trips, and as he does, I rest my head on his chest. It feels nice and safe. I trust him to carry me anyway.
