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That’s when the others step out of the shadows. Not just other wolves, mostly the ones I already knew were on Tavor’s side, but orcs, too. The very orcs who just a moment ago had said they were going to be retreating.
“You’re working together?” I say, startled.
“That’s right,” the general replies from the tree he’s leaning against. “And don’t bother invoking the God of War. We retreated from that fight, just like we said we would. This is a totally separate affair. We’re acting as allies of this wolf, who’s trying to clear his pack of influence from humans.”
So that’s it. Tavor must have been the one who led them here in the first place. He saw Kian and realized it was his opportunity to finally have a chance at overthrowing the pack.
“You disgust me,” Kian spits. He’s doing his best to look and sound strong again for the orcs, but I wonder how much he has left in him.
I don’t know if I can defeat Tavor, the wolves fighting by his side, and a whole orc army on my own. But I can sure give them a hard time, and for Kian, that’s exactly what I’ll do. I pull out my spear.
“Whoever comes at me first will be the first to die.” I sigh and get ready to follow through on that threat.
“She’s not alone,” comes a howl. It’s Nyra. So there are still wolves on my side, too. Other wolves appear, taking their stance near me and against the orcs. I half expect to see Alfa here trying to join the fray, but she isn’t. For once, she must have listened to the adults.
“Attack!” Tavor calls, and suddenly, everything is chaos.
An orc runs straight at me and nearly impales himself on my spear before even slowing down. A second later, one of Tavor’s wolves is leaping at me. I dodge and give him a stab to the flank to remember me by.
But I can’t just worry about me. I have to protect Kian, too. Two orcs and a wolf are all moving toward him. I pull the spear clear and bound in between them and Kian. All around me, wolves are pouncing onto orcs and barrelling into each other.
“I’ve got you,” I tell Kian. “No one gets to you except through me.”
“I’ve got you, too,” Kian says, snatching up a dropped battleax. “I love you, and I’ll never leave you.”
He loves me. And he said that with all his memories.I feel a rising in my heart. If Kian loves me, I have something to fight for. With something to fight for, I can win.
“I would have spared you if you hadn’t involved the orcs!” I cry, although I can’t find Tavor with my eyes right now. “You’re the one who’s betrayed the pack, and I’ll see that you pay the price for it!”
I jump into the group of three enemies, swinging the spear to slash at the wolf and block the attacks of the orc. There’s no way to keep an eye on which way the battle itself is going. There’s too much chaos and too much danger. All I can do is focus on myself and Kian. On staying alive.
I’m just starting to be lost in the rhythm of the battle when I glance over at Kian and see his eyes widen. That’s when I realize that Tavor, who had disappeared from my sight for some time, is leaping straight at me. And I’m totally flat-footed, with no time to plan a dodge and precious little space to do it in even if I could.
Kian jumps forward, right between me and Tavor. He’s sacrificing himself for me, I realize, and the strength that had just filled my limbs drains out of me.
“Kian!” I cry, helpless to do anything to stop him. “Please! No!”
28
KIAN
It isn’t a choice, exactly. There’s no time for making a choice. I see that a wolf is leaping at Amara and that she doesn’t see it, and my body is already in motion.
Not that I wouldn’t make the choice to sacrifice myself for Amara. Rather, it’s such an easy choice to make that I’ve already made it by the time I realize she needs me to.
I stand there, waiting for the wolf to crash into me. I try to remember as much as I can about protecting myself from a pounce. Directing your force in the right direction, keeping low, and being ready to roll with it if something goes wrong. Not that I really think any of that will save me. It’s just that if I’m going to die, I want to die well. I want to get it right and make things as hard as I can for this wolf who tried to betray Amara.
“Kian!” I hear Amara’s voice, sounding as if it comes from somewhere very far away. “Please! No!”
And if there were another way, I’d take it. But there isn’t. This is what it all comes down to.
I feel the wolf’s claws tearing into my shoulder, and a second later, I’m off my feet and rolling. I can handle the scratches, but it’s the jaws of the wolf that frighten me. Any second, I expect to feel the pain of something tightening around my neck, and then, nothing.
As we’re tumbling along the ground, I think about Amara. For the first time, with all my memories back, I can see the big picture. Some part of me still thinks that I should have died when I fell into that river. I was Kian the Undefeated. Once I was defeated, even if it was by treachery, the person I had been was gone.
Even if I hadn’t lost my memories, I still would have had to become a new person. But if I’d known everything then, the shame might have been too much for me. Maybe it was only because I lost my memories that I was able to find a new life.
Because I did find a new life with Amara. I made myself into a new, better person. A person who could heal from wounds rather than simply die. A person who could play with a young wolf cub and run joyfully through the forest. A person who could love Amara with all his heart and be loved by her.
