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Someday, maybe even someday soon, I’m going to have to figure out where and how to live. I would have once assumed that means finding the Risen Ash clan.
But I don’t want to give up on anything I have here. Not Amara. Not Alfa. And not any of the other wolves gathering around me as if to remind me that we’re all one big extended family. Somehow, I want to have all of them, all of this, be a part of my new life.
But how can I do that? Can I do it at all?
29
AMARA
The wolf is a streak of white, and their fur shines with streaks of silver in the weakening sunlight.
I still feel lightheaded from holding my breath when the white wolf came to Kian’s rescue, and I force myself to exhale and then inhale as deeply as I can.
The black wolf, one of the ones who attacked us so suddenly and so brutally, slinks away along with the wolves who bravely came along with him.
He is very clearly terribly injured, and part of me wants to jump up and tend to his injuries as I do with my pack.
But then he looks back at me, and malice glints red in his dark eyes, and I know that he won’t thank me for helping him.
Kian struggles to his feet as I look around me, at the home that it took me years to build for myself and the pack.
“It’s all gone,” I murmur, and I gasp out loud when pain strikes my chest. “Everything I have built, it is all gone.”
Kian takes me in his arms, and I sob quietly against his chest. The loss that I feel right now is so profound that it almost chokes me.
When I pull away, my vision is still hazy with tears and grief, and my face is wet.
When I lift my hand to rub away the tears, my fingers come away sticky and red with blood.
“Your chest wound.” I lead Kian back to what is left of the house, swallowing down tears.
Maybe focusing on them will help me forget everything I have lost,I think to myself.Maybe you’re feeling this loss so deeply because you never had much to start with. You’ve only ever had your peaceful little house in the woods and the pack. Aside from that, all you’ve really had was your own existence.
My thoughts are steady and calm as I wash Kian’s wound with an echinacea and yarrow solution, and then I dry the wound as best as I can before I stitch it up.
I cover it up with cotton gauze and tape it down before I hand him a bowl of my herbal tincture that is best for infections and fever, and that also kills bacteria.
Then I turn to have a look at the wolves who have been hurt.
Before I can leave, Kian closes his hand around mine and pulls me towards him.
“I’m sorry.” The sincerity and sadness in his voice have me blinking back tears. “I’m sorry for everything you have lost.”
I swallow again and shake my head, looking at the ground.
“I’m just glad that everyone I love is safe. But now I need to look at the rest of the pack.”
“I’ll help you.” Kian declares, and I know that there is no arguing with him, even though all I want to do is tell him to sit down so that he doesn’t hurt himself.
We work through the pack one by one. The injuries range in severity, and I am surprised to see that Fever has some of the more serious injuries.
“Did you actually help us fight that wolf?” I ask as Fever whines and pushes his muzzle into my lap.
“You’re really just a big baby, aren’t you?” I tell him as I stitch up the wound in his side. It is quite deep, and dirt entered the wound so it takes me a while to clean it out.
When I am done stitching him up, I force some of the healing solution down his throat, even though he howls in protest the entire time.
I do another sweep of the clearing and find Kira’s pups unharmed, and I also find Safira with the elderly wolves who are hiding in a pit they dug which is covered with tree branches.
