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With a reserved smile, Luke said, “I read about your situation. Life is crazy, huh?”
“Batshit,” I verified. “Nice to meet you.”
“Imagine running into a fellow insta-dad in the square,” Max said. “I gotta think we’re few and far between.”
“I hope so,” I said. “Particularly in a situation like what happened to your cousin.”
“No shit,” Luke said. “It’s hard enough to just be a dad on a regular day. Throw in a tragedy or some other odd situation…” He shook his head. “I’m thankful nothing bad has happened to Addie’s mom.”
“Are you divorced then?” I asked.
Luke nodded. “Jess’s career Army. We split up when my daughter was nine months old. I have full-time custody, but when Jess’s stateside, I give her all the access to Addie she wants. We weren’t a good couple, but we’re pretty good at co-parenting.”
“How old’s your daughter?” I asked.
“She’s four.”
“Is that age easier than a baby or harder?” I dared to ask, hoping for an encouraging answer.
All three men replied with a roar of laughter.
“We have a saying here,” Chance said. “We borrowed it straight from the Navy SEALs.”
“‘The only easy day was yesterday,’” Luke said.
I laughed with them even though, after only two weeks, I sensed it was a thousand percent true, and that worried the ever-loving shit out of me.
We settled in front of the TV with pizza. We watched the game, but the volume was low, no one too engrossed. There was a thirty-point difference in score that explained it.
“What’s the story with your daughter’s mother, if you don’t mind me asking?” Chance said to me. “Is she still in the picture? Coming back?”
I picked up my beer. “I don’t mind you asking, but I’ll need a long drink first.” I took a long swig while the others raised their bottles in support and drank too. Maybe it was corny, but I appreciated that.
“My ex has some mental health issues,” I said frankly. “I mean, who doesn’t, but she’s bipolar.”
“Shit,” Max said. “That’s not an easy situation.”
“No.” I filled my hand with peanuts, leaned back again without cracking any. “Finding the right balance of meds is a challenge, but she’d gotten to a pretty good place with hers. We had a good couple of months where she was stablizing.” I shook my head. “It was becoming clear that we weren’t a good match on a good day. Then she decided she didn’t want to mess with her meds anymore. Insisted she didn’t need them.”
“Oh, hell no,” Chance said.
“Yep.” I nodded. I set the peanuts on my plate and picked my pizza back up, took another bite, chewed. “I tried to stick it out to be supportive, see if I could help her get help again. I didn’t want to desert her when she wasn’t okay.”
Luke made a face like he didn’t figure it ended well. Max growled and shook his head.
“I’ll take a stab in the dark and guess that didn’t work out?” Chance asked.
I shook my head. “She did everything she could to push me away. I finally let her have her way. If she’d wanted help, it would’ve been different.”
“Hell yes,” Chance said, then shoved the last of a slice into his mouth.
“We broke up in October last year. I don’t think she knew she was pregnant then. If she did, she didn’t tell me.” I took one of the peanuts, crushed the shell with my fingers, and tossed the bits into a bowl. With a look at each of the other three, I said something out loud that I’d thought multiple times to myself but never dared to utter. “This sounds awful, but part of me’s relieved Gina wasn’t on a bunch of psychotropic drugs while she was pregnant. I have no doubt she needed them, but I don’t like thinking about what that might’ve done to the baby.”
“Your daughter’s health is your top concern now,” Max said.
I nodded, letting out a breath, relieved he seemed to understand. “Right. I tried repeatedly to help Gina get the help she needed. If she’d gone back on the right meds during the pregnancy out of necessity, with a doctor’s supervision, I would’ve supported that too, had I known. But hindsight… I’m glad Juniper doesn’t have a history with those.”
“Absolutely,” Chance said.
