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He didn’t.
I glanced at Juniper. Adorable, chubby Junie Bee. A tear spilled over the rim of my eye, splashing down my face.
“June Bug and I’ll be okay,” Knox said, as if that would make everything fine. “You’ve prepared us to go it alone. We’ve got this.”
I fought to swallow. Nodded once. Battled hard not to let any more tears fall. Not in front of him. “Fine,” I managed, doubting I’d be okay.
I took less than two minutes to gather my toiletries and some other belongings I might need in the next few days. I left most of my clothes, figuring I’d be back soon, when Knox came to his senses.
Even though I was completely unsure he would come to his senses.
When I came back into the living room, I went to Juniper, picked her up, and squeezed her to me, burying my head in her fresh baby scent. “I love you, little girl. I’ll see you very soon,” I whispered.
At that, tears drowned my eyes and streamed down my face. I fought to keep silent, struggled hard against the sobs that needed to escape.
Junie grabbed my hair and tugged affectionately, babbling like she did. Telling me she loved me too, I imagined. The thought had a pained smile forming on my lips, still pressed against her shoulder.
Not that Knox was looking.
He stood in front of the door to the deck, peering out, as if the lake was the most interesting thing ever. Not the heart he was breaking behind him.
I couldn’t bring myself to let go of Juniper for a good minute or two. Once I got my tears to stop falling, I took in the shakiest of breaths, gave her the most heartfelt kiss, and set her back down amid her toys, handing her the stuffed monkey she loved.
Straightening, I said to Knox’s back, “Goodbye, Knox. Let me know if you need help with June.”
His only reply was a nod, still not facing me, and that told me all I needed to know.
I’d misjudged everything. Mistaken what he felt for me as more than it was. Gotten sucked in by the “coziness” of our setup.
Once again I’d let myself want a future with a man. Once again I’d let myself get my heart broken. Except this time, it hurt so badly I could barely get a breath in. Because this time, I’d truly fallen in love.
KNOX
I stared out at the lake, not seeing a damn thing but knowing, if I turned around and watched Quincy walk out the door, I’d probably stop her.
I needed to let her go.
I’d always known I had to let her go, but fuck. This was harder than I’d ever imagined.
The door clicked shut, and still, I didn’t move, listening to be sure she was gone. The only sound was Juniper’s favorite rattle she used as a teething toy.
When I heard Quincy’s car drive away, I closed my eyes. My jaw was locked tight, giving me a headache I hadn’t noticed until now. My arms were crossed, fists clenched tight, as if I was fighting myself.
Probably accurate.
In my head, I knew what I’d done was right. There was no way in hell it was okay for Quincy to throw away her college opportunity and the teaching career it would lead to. Even though she said she was okay with it, I would never be.
“Ah-gah!”
Juniper’s baby babble jolted me out of my thoughts, reminded me I had a six-month-old to care for. Breakfast to make. A day to figure out now that I’d ensured we were on our own, for better or worse.
“Come here, June Bug.” I turned, found her on her tummy with the rattle flung to the side as she reached for her stuffed monkey. “I didn’t even ask Quincy if you had your breakfast yet.”
Scooping her up, I inhaled her baby scent and let my love for her wash over me, like a blanket of calmness, of protection from…the hard stuff.
I stood behind my suggestion of spending time apart. Quincy needed to see things objectively. She needed time to go out with her twentysomething friends and be carefree before she had to buckle down at school and study. She needed a reminder that she wasn’t forty and married and the mother of an infant. She had all the time in the world to get to that place in life—later. Much later.
I shook my head. I couldn’t think about Quincy now. I was going to be the dad Juniper needed.
