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It went without saying that red wine was for butt-hard emotional times.
A soft, sympathetic sound came from Piper, and she put an arm around me and squeezed. Yet again, my burning eyes filled.
A cork popped from the back room, Jewel swore, and Piper, Taylor, and I laughed, me through tears. Even though Jewel was a bar manager, she hated opening anything with a cork.
“Scares her every time,” Piper said quietly.
“Even though she’s expecting it,” I added, grinning.
“Suck it,” Jewel said as she rejoined us, carrying the bottle and three wineglasses.
Once we’d split the bottle into our glasses—hand-painted by Piper in a fall motif—I took a healthy swallow or five, appreciating the warmth as it went down.
As Jewel retook her place on the work counter, I leaned against the checkout area next to Taylor, facing Jewel. Piper tidied the top surface, straightening the hand-painted gift cards, the daisy keychains, the flower-shaped votives.
“Let’s hear it,” Piper said.
“So I walked around the campus,” I started. “A lot of it was closed for the holiday, and most of the buildings were locked, so I spent most of my time by this quiet pond behind the dorms. It was peaceful. Mostly deserted. I found a bench and just sat there, trying to shut down all my thoughts and listen to my heart. To figure out whether school’s the right thing.”
“What did your heart say?” Piper asked.
I pressed my lips together, waited for any misgivings to arise. None did. “I’m not going.”
There was silence for two full seconds. Then Piper said, “Okay then. Decision made.”
“Decision made,” I repeated, nodding. “Again. It still feels right. I’ve been turning it over in my head since brunch with Cynthia. I think I was mostly going to school because that’s what’s expected of me. I picked teaching because it fits better than other degrees.” I shrugged tiredly. “Could I be a teacher? I think so.”
“You could be a hell of a teacher,” Jewel said. “But you shouldn’t unless you burn to.”
“School’s a lot if you’re not totally into it,” Taylor said.
“How would you know?” Jewel asked. “There was never a second you weren’t into it.”
“That’s a valid point,” Taylor said sheepishly. She’d skipped two grades in grade school and graduated before any of us even though she was younger than Jewel and the same age as Piper and me.
“I think I’d like teaching for a couple of years.” I traced the edges of a daisy key chain. “That’s not what I really want to do though.”
I glanced up at my friends. Jewel’s head was tilted as she listened to me. Piper raised her brows as if waiting to hear more.
Taylor asked, “What do you really want to do?”
“I want my own family, first and foremost.”
“We know,” Jewel said with an affectionate smile. “Not shocking.”
“Don’t judge,” I said. “I know it’s out of the nineteen fifties but—”
“Hush,” Piper broke in. “You want what you want.”
“Screw societal expectations,” Jewel added.
I let out a quiet laugh, grateful for their understanding, then sobered. “The family I want… Yeah. That didn’t work out.” I swallowed. Fought to maintain my composure. I was wrung out and so tired of crying.
“I know, hon.” Piper stopped her tidying to rub my arm. “He’s blind.”
“Men are stupid,” Jewel added with emphasis.
“You’d think Knox would be wiser since he’s older and all…” Piper said.
