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“Maybe not, but I don’t have to support it or make it easier for her to make that mistake.”
“Who’s to say it’s a mistake, Knox? She might be younger than you, but she’s the boss of her life.”
I clenched my jaw, unable to argue with that, but still…
“This might be presumptive,” Ava said, “but it seems like you’re trying to do the same thing your mom did.”
I reared my head back. “My mom? What does this have to do with her?”
She leaned forward, her forehead furrowed. “With all due respect, because I suspect she meant well, she made a giant decision when she was pregnant that affected Simon’s future and yours.”
“Sure. The way she saw it, she sacrificed for my father’s sake. Because she knew he’d be happy with Nita, and she didn’t want to intrude on their life.”
“What if she had let Simon make that decision?” Ava asked quietly.
“He never would’ve agreed not to have his child in his life,” I said without hesitation.
“I think so too.” She stared at me as her meaning sank in.
“You think I’m doing the same thing,” I said.
“You are.”
“You think I should let Quincy quit school before she even starts and work for me full-time.”
“I think the school part is Quincy’s decision. Whether you employ her is yours.”
I sat forward and leaned my elbows on my thighs, trying to argue in my head that my situation was different from my mom’s. I couldn’t. Not if I was honest.
I growled, burning to argue. “What if she eventually regrets dropping out? Giving up a teaching career? For me?”
Ava put her hand on my forearm, and I met her gaze as she asked, “What if she doesn’t? What if Quincy’s your one, Knox?”
I swallowed, trying to keep my face blank as I flinched inwardly.
Her expression softened. “Tell me something. Do you love her?”
Running my hands over my face, I let my mind churn over what I already suspected. What I didn’t want to face.
“If you didn’t, you probably wouldn’t be in a knot over her leaving,” Ava said.
A knot. That was an understatement. My appetite was off. My sleep was nonexistent. My mood was shit.
I took in a deep, lung-expanding breath and let the admission sink in.
I did.
I loved Quincy.
I let out a halfhearted laugh that sounded more like a scoff.
I loved her spirit and her spunkiness and her take on the world. I loved her with my daughter. I loved her naked and writhing underneath me. I loved her when she fell asleep during a movie. I loved her courage to tell me how she felt and her braveness to be different, make different choices. I loved when she gave me a hard time for being old and stuffy. I just…loved her.
“Yeah,” I finally said, my voice wobbling with the weight of the realization. “I do love her.”
“I knew it! Knox, this is so great.”
“This…” My gut tightened and started churning. “It’s not so great.”
